Twilight of the Empire
by LaPapillion
Summary: Set roughly 20 years after ROTS. All events happened, except Padmé did not die. Please read & review. Please Note: Rating now changed to M. COMPLETE
1. Chapter 1: Dawn

Outline:

**Twilight of the Empire**

Characters: Padmé Naberrie Skywalker, Anakin Skywalker, Luke Skywalker

General/ Romance/ Angst

AU of Episode 5 & 6

T for Mild Sexual Situations.

Disclaimer: Sadly, I own nothing. Star Wars is the property of George Lucas.

Gentle reader, this is my first fan fiction. I'd appreciate your feedback.

Summary: Set roughly 20 years after ROTS. All events happened, except Padmé did not die.

**Prologue**: **Dawn**

Padmé felt like she was at the bottom of a shallow body of water on Naboo, looking upwards and slowly floating up toward the light. She felt weightless, buoyant, drawn to the light. She heard a rapid beeping sound, and opened her eyes a crack. The blinding white of the walls coupled with the sunlight filtering through the opaque window coverings were just too much. She shut her eyes tightly and took a deep breath.

_Where am I? _

"Miss Padmé, the monitors were correct! You _are_ awake! This is most unusual…" The droid chattered at her.

"W-where am I?" Padmé began, hesitantly. She was thoroughly confused.

"You are on Coruscant in a private medical convalescent ward—one of the best facilities, I must say," the droid added with what sounded like pride.

"Medical ward? What am I doing here? What's happened to me? Where are my babies? My husband? Padmé frowned as memories flooded her mind.

"Babies?" If a droid could look truly confused "…Husband?" The droid cocked its head in a questioning manner.

"How did I get here?"

"You were brought here by a family member, Miss Padmé."

"Who?"

"Records show a Senator Bail Organa…"

"Bail…? _Bail_? When?"

"Why, Miss Padmé, I do understand your confusion. You have been at our facility close to twenty standard years and we are most pleased that-"

"NO! It can't _be_!" She began to rise, but immediately felt dizzy.

"Miss Padmé, you will need to take care. Although the droid units have been preventing your muscles from atrophy through regular physical therapy movements, you will need to regain your equilibrium."

Padmé took a calming breath. _Think_, _Padmé_. _You need answers and this droid will not have much to offer you._

"Do you have a Holo-library or a place where I can look at what's been happening in the universe? I think there is a lot I need to catch up on."

"Why, certainly, Miss Padmé. Right this way."

Padmé rose on shaky legs and moved to put on the white slippers and robe that the droid provided her. She belted the robe over her tunic and leggings. As she followed the droid through the doorway, she happened to glance at the mirror. Superficially, she had not really changed all that much in 20 years, except she noticed a few grey hairs in the heavy braid that a droid unit had taken meticulous care to braid.

As they passed through the corridors of the facility, Padmé noticed some more of the unfortunate patients, obviously victims of war.

"What kind of a world have I woken up in?" she whispered to herself. "More importantly, where is_ Anakin_?"

They stopped in front of a doorway as the portal slid open with a slight sound.


	2. Chapter 2: More Bad News

**_Note to Reviewers:_**

_**rockyrelay: **I am honored to be in your favorites! _

_**Darth Buttercup: **Thank you very much. I hope I don't disappoint you._

_A special gros merci à __**BarkingdogBARK**, my first reviewer. G__é__nial! Vous parlez f__rançais aussi! As to your questions, they will be answered in time, my young Padawan… evil grin _

_**Please read & review!**_

**Chapter 2 : More Bad News **

"Miss Padmé, this is our information center. Here you will find the latest in Information Technology…"

The droid's voice droned on as Padmé walked past an elderly gentleman staring off into space. She made her way to the nearest holo console to get down to business. She took a deep breath and started typing in the names of the list she had been gathering in her head on the walk over.

Her chest tightened and tears formed in her eyes as she read the information on her husband:

Anakin Skywalker: Jedi Knight. Missing in action. Presumed dead. 

"Oh,_ Ani_…." She set her head down on her arms and took a deep breath and let her tears flow.

_What happened?_

Padmé's tearful outburst took a slight edge off of her heartache, but she didn't want to give in to grief at this moment in such a public place. And there was more that she needed to know. She began typing more names.

Obi-Wan Kenobi: Jedi Master. Missing in action. Presumed dead. 

Bail Organa: Senator of Alderaan. Deceased. Planetary Disturbance. 

Jedi: Superstitious cult that attempted to assassinate the Emperor. Enemies of the Empire. Purged. Extinct. 

Then, inspired, she typed: Luke Skywalker 

Luke Skywalker: Enemy of the Empire. Member of Rebel Alliance. Bounty offered. Contact Darth Vader. 

Padmé's heart lurched as she read _'Wanted dead or alive.' _There was a small holo identification image. She felt a pang in her heart.

_Oh, how he looked like Anakin!_

Leia Skywalker: File does not exist. 

Leia Naberrie: File does not exist. 

Leia Kenobi: File does not exist. 

"THINK, Padmé…"

_Of course. It made sense, _she thought.

Leia _Organa _

Leia Organa: Princess of Alderaan. Enemy of the Empire. Leader in Rebel Alliance. Bounty offered. Contact Darth Vader. 

Padmé's eyes misted over . '_Wanted dead or alive_.'

The small identification holo of Leia showed her serious face with dark eyes and hair. Padmé smiled as she recognized that determined set of the jaw in own self.

_My children are alive! _

Padmé paused to let that bit of joy wash over her. Then her thoughts turned to other unpleasant matters.

_So, the records and media are heavily biased. No surprise, there. Definitely Palpatine's work. That hideous old despot._

_And what about me?_

Padmé Naberrie Amidala: Former Queen of Naboo. Senator of Naboo. Deceased. Date Unknown 

_So, I am dead,_ she thought wryly, _or rather someone wanted to make sure it looked like I was dead. If Padmé Amidala is dead, who am I now? But that could wait._ She turned back to the transparent listing of her search and began to read some of the news headlines.

_But where are my children, now?_

According to the records, Alderaan was destroyed, so Leia was no longer there. And she had no idea where Luke would be.

'Emperor assures peace in Galaxy.' She snorted in disgust as she read that tripe. "If that's Palpatine…" 'Darth Vader victory against the Rebel Alliance.'

"_Monsters_, both of them," she hissed.

Out of curiosity, she typed in the name 'Darth Vader' into the holonet search.

Immediately a miniature 3-dimensional holo-image of Darth Vader appeared with a very brief biography. She started as she looked at it and felt a frisson of fear and repulsion creep up her spine. It was worse than having a huge, hairy arachnid crawling on her. She barely looked at the description and shut the holo unit off with a shudder.

Suddenly, she felt exhausted and overwhelmed. She lay her forehead down on her folded arms and gathered her thoughts and figure out what to do next. Seek out her children? Perhaps see if she still had family on Naboo? Her breath caught in her throat as she thought of Anakin and their time on Naboo.

"You need to be very careful, my child, with what you seek on these machines…"


	3. Chapter 3: Inspiration

**Chapter 3:** **Inspiration**

Padmé gasped and deactivated the holo console and swung around to face the intruder. The gently smiling face and kind eyes of an elderly man.

"_They are always watching…"_

Padmé felt a pang of sadness. There was something about him that reminded her of Obi-Wan Kenobi, although this man was much older than Obi-Wan, even after twenty standard years.

Seeing her discomfort, he the old man sought to soften his warning with a small grin and an introduction.

"Pardon my manners, I did not mean to intrude. Allow me to introduce myself. I am Fenrir of Corellia."

Letting down her guard, Padmé nodded and added, "I am Padmé, of…Naboo."

"Well, Padmé, it seems you have recovered well enough. When are you leaving?"

_Leaving?_

Padmé was hesitant to respond, but a cloud of despair was over her and she needed to vent. "I really don't think I have a place to go, to tell the truth. I have lost everything. I am an anachronism. I have no place in the present." She felt the tears rise in her eyes.

"Well, my dear. You have only two choices: stay here sheltered in the comfort of this place and away from the Empire, or jump right into the bantha nest."

He looked at her wistfully. "You remind me of my granddaughter. Something tells me you will choose the bantha nest." He smiled benevolently and Padmé, feeling inspired, returned a grin.

The droid rolled up to Padmé. "Miss Padmé, it is time for your nourishment ration."

"Are you coming, too?" Padmé ventured hopefully to the now silent man sitting quietly in the chair.

"He won't answer you." The droid declared.

Padmé frowned and was about to reply when the droid continued.

"If you're wondering about him," the droid stated, gesturing toward the silent gentleman, "His family sent him here for our specialists. We have not made much progress yet, but are sure we will one day get some kind of response from him. He has not spoken since the Jedi Purge two standard decades ago. He lost a granddaughter and has not spoken since."

Padmé looked sharply at him.

Pacing back and forth in her chamber, Padmé came to a resolution. She decided to go to Naboo. Perhaps some of her family might be there or old friends who could offer her temporary shelter. She just needed to get away from everything to think of how she would find her children.

She pressed a comm. button and waited for the droid to enter. It seemed that the facility had no humans except for the patients. After quizzing the droid, she found out that there were no restrictions on her leaving. She also found out that she was quite a wealthy woman with a sizeable bank account, despite her convalescence.

Apparently Bail Organa made sure she was financially well off, having placed a large sum of credits in trust for her. It was more than enough to take care of her indefinitely, but now that she was leaving the medical facility, she could procure clothes and a ship, which is what she was planning to do right away.

It was nothing like her sleek Naboo Cruiser, but it would have to do. It was an older model Coruscant ship with an upgraded hyperdrive, which she would need to make the jump to Naboo and arrive in record time. She also procured other necessities, including a rare Naboo blaster, non-descript clothing and plenty of Empire credits _just in case_.

She took off from the docking bay and entered the coordinates for Naboo. Padmé sat back as she entered the grey streaks of hyperspace and closed her eyes for a quick rest. Her breathing became deep and even. A sense of calm came over her and her body relaxed. She had emptied her mind and fell into a meditative state. Anakin had taught her a few Jedi skills, despite her lower Force sensitivity.

The image of a large, gaseous planet came into her mind. Her eyes opened and she was compelled to change her course. She entered the new coordinates, which would necessitate a few more hyperspace jumps in order to get to the new destination: _Bespin._

Padmé's ship exited the last hyperspace jump when a warning klaxon sounded. The strain of the rapid hyperspace jumps had caused a stress fracture in the ship's outer hull and was slowly leaking oxygen. Coupled with the fact that she was also perilously low on fuel made it a good idea to request an immediate landing on the mining colony straight ahead of her.

She was cleared for her approach and she made her way to the landing bay. She began to feel an urgency to complete her voyage, so she quickly exited the ship to give orders for the ship's repair and the necessary credits to pay for it. She had had the foresight to pull on a long dark blue hooded cloak about her to hide her blaster and the large pouch of credits form prying eyes.

She negotiated a fair price for the repairs and fuel with the technician when a strange sense of foreboding came over her. Her hands went clammy and her body went cold. It was as if she know something really horrid was about to happen and she had to change it.

The mechanic was telling her how long he thought it would take to make the repairs when she turned and tore off in the opposite direction. He looked bemused and shook his head, going about his business. He was paid well not to ask questions.


	4. Chapter 4: Driven

**Chapter 4: Driven **

There was an urgency to her movements and her heart pounded furiously in her chest.

Something was guiding Padmé as she scrambled down a service ladder into the underbelly of Cloud City and sped down the corridor. What she saw as she rounded the corner made her blood run cold.

In the distance, she saw a young man cradling his injured right arm, his face twisted with horror and anguish as he glared at the huge caped dark figure reaching out to him.

"NO! _It's not true!_" the young man was yelling.

She stumbled; she could feel the young man's pain as if it were her own. Padmé could not hear the menacing creature's words, but whatever it had said caused the young man to glower in hatred. She was struck by a sudden thought.

_That is my son! _

She could feel it through the Force.

_He can **not** kill him!_

Padmé grabbed the blaster on her hip and fired a fatal shot, which was quickly deflected by a glowing red lightsaber. The dark specter paused in his assault to face the new adversary who would meet a swift and certain death.

He was stunned.

_Padmé…alive?_

Padmé aimed again to make a killing shot. In the blink of an eye, Darth Vader made a gesture with its left hand and her blaster was crushed and flung to the farthest wall. Infuriated, she knew no fear as she ran to throw herself between Vader and her son.

"_You will not kill him!"_ she panted, trying to shield her son with her body.

Although he admired this woman's bravery, Luke knew they were both going to die.

Padmé's brow furrowed as she faintly detected a strong, familiar presence in the Force. She turned to look at the young man and stared intently at his face. She put out her hand to touch him.

_It **had** to be Luke._

"Luke," the sound came out in a throaty whisper.

Luke's body sagged further onto the floor and he looked as if he was going into shock, but he held on because he also felt her distinct presence through the Force.

_This can't be happening- not now!_

But he could not be imagining such a thing! He had not lost his mind!

_Mother_…he could sense it. _But how can this be?_

Interrupting their family reunion, Darth Vader ordered three armed Stormtroopers to take Padmé & Luke to a detention cell. When their task was complete, he would wipe the Stormtroopers' respective memories. It was all too easy to do so. He wanted no witnesses. As the prisoners were marched out of his presence, Vader paused to regroup his thoughts.

_Padmé... alive? How can this be?_

_My Master told me she was dead…that I…_he silently choked up.

He could not go back there to that time. Ages ago.

_Alive_…

He felt a stirring of the Force that he had not felt in many, many years…the _Light_ Side of the Force. It was curling on the edge of his consciousness, weaving its presence through the thick darkness of hatred and despair.

He felt…._hope_…_ happiness_!

_Inconceivable._

He closed his eyes hidden behind the inscrutable mask and allowed the feeling to caress him.

_Padmé…I did it all for you…_

The Stormtroopers pushed them into the detention cell and Padmé immediately demanded medical attention as she helped Luke to the cot. The Stormtroopers silently departed, looking for orders from Lord Vader before making any moves. Padmé was furious, but quickly calmed herself.

Sighing loudly, Padmé turned back to the cot and knelt down beside her son, looking into his confused eyes. She embraced Luke, smoothed his hair back from his face, and looked into his eyes as she tried to comfort him.

Her concern was overwhelming; Luke could feel it. And he also felt a powerful sense of love emanating from her. She gazed at him with liquid eyes. _Her deep brown eyes are so familiar…_Luke thought.

Luke could not believe he was finally reunited with his Mother-but under such circumstances! He also wondered at her reaction to Vader. _It doesn't make sense_, he thought. Padmé sat on the edge of the cot and tried to soothe the anguish she felt from him. The door slid open.

Vader's dark presence entered the detention cell. He could sense their collective trepidation as he loomed over them. He at once felt powerful and…uneasy.

Despite her fear, Padmé jumped up, ready for a fight. She had recognized Darth Vader from the holoprojector images she had viewed on Coruscant. She angrily demanded their release. Vader remained silent.

Luke started to moan, "...Father…_please_…." Padmé swung her gaze back to look at Luke, aghast and indignant. Had he lost his mind?

She turned viciously on Vader. "Is this how you plan to torture him? To drive him mad?" She balled her right hand in a fist, furious.

"To make him believe YOU are his father? _You_ are _not_ his father! His father was _Anakin Skywalker_-- a good man; a _Jedi_!"

Luke remained silent. _She has no idea_, he thought, and shook his head. Luke closed his eyes.

The sound of Vader's respirator was grating on her nerves. Finally, he spoke.

"_Padmé…" _

Face contorted in displeasure at the sound, Padmé heard the harsh tones of the breath-mask speaking; it assaulted her ears.

"The monster speaks?" she said, derisively. She was livid and ready to fight.

_How did he know my name?_

Then, in the midst of her fury, Padmé went completely still. She had felt the familiar caress of a very unique Force signature reverberating through her body and she closed her eyes. It seemed forever until she spoke.

"_Anakin…?"_ she whispered.

Her breath stopped short and her eyes opened with the dawning revelation. Her eyes probed into the opaque black covering his eyes, trying to see Anakin.

"No…" She was lightheaded. The room started to shift.

She frowned and stared at Vader with growing eyes. Luke sat up on the cot. Both Luke and Vader watched her reaction closely. She could not take a breath, for the crushing weight in her chest. Her feelings registered disbelief, horror, then the feeling of immense sadness washed over both Luke and Vader.

"Anakin…_NO_," she whispered, before crumpling to the ground insensible. Luke felt immense pity for his Mother and a quick fierce anger at his father. _Why, father?_

Both Luke and Vader swiftly moved to collect Padmé's lifeless form. Vader used the Force to push Luke away from her as he bent his hulking form over to gently cradle Padmé's body to him. He stood and promptly exited the detention cell, taking Padmé to the quarters he was temporarily occupying in Cloud City.

The door quickly shut on Luke as he attempted to follow.

"_Where are you taking her!"_ he yelled, trying to swallow his hysteria.

Luke pounded on the door with his good fist as well as the Force, when a medical droid suddenly entered the cell to tend to him. The droid deftly injected a tranquilizer into his neck, leaving Luke unconscious. A second droid entered with a tray of food rations and placed it on a side table.


	5. Chapter 5: Impasse

**_A note of thanks to all who are following this tale, including young Padawan reviewers:_ pokey, Laura-chan, QueenMeep, MissNaye, forceuser1456, doreenthatshot.**

**Chapter 5: Impasse**

Padmé lay unconscious on the simple cot, and Vader watched over her.

He tenderly smoothed the blanket over Padmé's body, careful not to touch her. Vader's eyes caressed Padmé's face as his hands could not. The only sound in the sterile, quiet room was of Vader's breathing.

_Padmé, where have you been? _

_Why did you leave me?_

Padmé's eyes fluttered opened in the darkened room. She was groggy, but could sense someone was near her.

"…_Anakin…?"_ she whispered tentatively.

Darth Vader's fearsome mask loomed above her. She recoiled and turned her face away. Her fear and revulsion were like a physical blow to him.

"Anakin, why are you wearing that mask? Please take it off so that I can _see_ you." She had whispered her urgent plea to the wall, unable to face him.

There was a pause before Vader's harsh voice broke the silence.

"I can not."

"But _why_…?" She had turned back to him and her face was at once wary and inquisitive.

"It allows me to live outside my special hyperbaric chambers." No use in mincing words. He had greatly changed since they had last been together. She would need to know this about him.

She struggled to sit up, uncertainty twisting her face. "To _live_? But…I don't understand."

"_Obi-Wan did this to me." _She winced at his reply; she could feel his anger and hatred rising.

"Anakin, Obi-Wan was your _friend_, he would never-"

The quick images he flashed in her mind were meant to clear away any confusion:

The lurid backdrop of Mustafar. Obi-Wan slicing off Anakin's appendages. The hellish image of Obi-Wan watching the limbless Anakin slide into the glowing magma. Anakin's painful roar as his tortured body was consumed by flames.

Her eyes rolled back into her head with a throaty groan. A tortured scream was torn from Padmé's lips as her face contorted and reflected Anakin's suffering.

He could feel her body going into acute distress and immediately compelled her back to sleep with a slight wave of his hand. Padmé's body went instantly limp, but her tears continued to weave their path down her face.

Once again, the only sound on the cold room was Vader's respirator.

But his emotions were roiling. He felt anger, pain, and torment coupled with an awe-inspiring long-dead feeling of …_joy_ at finding Padmé alive. The joy rose in his mind to wipe away all other emotion.

It was quickly crushed by the fear of loss.

_I can not lose her again_.

As his eyes caressed her face, he wondered how time had not marked her much in any way. _His angel._ If time had marked _him_ physically, no one would ever know. But his deeds had marked him well.Regardless, he had to find a way to keep her with him.

_You_ _are as beautiful as I last saw you, on Mustafar, before I tried to-_ he stopped that train of thought. He could not go back to that time and place and hoped she would not remember.

_Padmé, you're alive._

In her sleep, Padmé began to moan.

She was dreaming awful things in bright flashes: She was back on Mustafar. She could feel the cloying heat and gasses of the noxious planet in her lungs. She clutched at her throat and felt her feet leaving the ground; _she could not breathe_.

Anakin was furious and using the Force to choke the life out of her. Eyes glowing a feral yellow, his face was cruel with fury as his black-gloved right hand made a choking gesture toward her. He thought she'd betrayed him!

_I swear I didn't know, Anakin! I love you! I would never betray you!_

She heard a commanding voice.

"Let her go, Anakin!" She could feel Anakin's attention waver from her.

"_Let her GO!" _

Was it Obi-Wan?

Anakin released her and she crumpled to the ground. Cheek pressed to the warm stone tarmac, head lolling on her neck, she was still conscious. Luke strode down the gangplank of her Nubian cruiser.

"You've turned her against me!"

"_You have done that, yourself."_

It was _Luke_.

Anakin paced like a wild creature in front of Luke and responded with a hysterical outburst:

"YOU WILL NOT TAKE HER FROM ME!"

Luke remained silent, watching his father.

Unprovoked, in the blink of an eye, Anakin flew at Luke and sliced him in half with his red lightsaber. With a cry, Padmé woke and quickly sat up.

She was startled again by the dark hulk of Vader hovering over her, but now cowed. She wanted answers and she wanted them _now_. She took a deep breath, and on shaky legs, stood up to face him.

"What will happen to Luke?"

Vader hesitated as he looked at Padmé. The silence grew heavy and oppressive.

"Luke," he began grimly, _"Must meet his destiny…"_

"And what exactly is his destiny? _Tell me_!"

"Luke will turn to the Dark Side…or he will _perish_…It has been foreseen."

"Anakin, how could you allow this to happen! This is your own son!" Anger radiated off her body. Although a familiar and comforting emotion for Vader, it did not please him in the least.

It had been a very long time since _anyone_ had argued with him.

Many had died for even addressing him without the proper respect. But here was _Padmé_ attempting to change things. Vader wryly remembered Padmé in the Senate on Coruscant. She would never bow down to anyone.

"Apparently, your stubbornness has not diminished with the years, Padmé," the harsh disembodied voice declared.

A ghost of a smile crossed Padmé's lips.

"It's one of the things about me that you used to find irresistible."

Vader paused.

He was glad for the unreadable mask he wore that would not betray the warm flush he felt moving up his face at Padmé's words.

_Was that a challenge?_

_An_ **_invitation_**? Oh, how he longed to take her in his arms.

He turned away from her.

_Would she resist? _

She found him repugnant. He could _sense_ it. But even if she did not resist, it would torment him to no end, as he could not touch her warm flesh with his own hands. He clenched his fists at the thought. His sigh of frustration and longing came out as a raspy harsh sound, betraying nothing.

Padmé turned away from him and walked toward the large duraglass porthole to watch the red sunset. The billowing cloud formations outside the port window reflected an eerie crimson glow in the dying light.

The silence in the room was only broken by Vader's respirator. He silently moved to stand beside her, keeping a respectful distance between them, and also gazed at the garish splash of color.

After a painfully long silence, Vader finally spoke.

"I propose…a _barter_."

He continued looking out the large porthole.

Padmé's attention was caught. Puzzled, she turned to him, expectantly. She would hear him out. Silence again. Vader was struggling to form the words.

"If you will remain with me and _not_ try to leave," he paused, then turned to her, _"I will allow Luke to escape."_

"Why would you do that? You know full well that you can keep me with you with or without my consent…" Because he stood so still and did not respond, it seemed as if he had not heard her words.

Padmé shook her head, bemused. She was still looking at him earnestly for an explanation. There was, once again, absolute silence in the room until Vader spoke again.

He turned his head; the intimidating mask looked directly at her.

"I want you…_willing_."


	6. Chapter 6: The Arrangement

**_Many thanks to my readers & reviewers, including: _****_bLuEyEs716_**

**Chapter 6: The Arrangement**

Padmé's breath caught in her throat.

Blood pounded in her ears. The phrase caressed her as well as sent a cold frisson of apprehension up her spine. He continued to stare at her in that infuriatingly inscrutable manner. That, coupled with his proposal, was making her very uneasy.

He could _sense_ it.

But that was _all_ he could sense. Padmé immediately but up a mental barrier to hide her feelings from him. He was about to deeply probe her thoughts, when he thought better of it. She was far too intelligent not to sense it if he tried to break down her shields and that was counterproductive to his _objective_.

She turned away in silence. Although her face was serene, a reflex due to her former life and years of being in the public eye, her emotions were churning. There was no question that she would remain with Anakin, _especially_ if it meant Luke would go free.

_My son._

But could this bargain mean more? Could it mean that Anakin really _was_ still there under that mask? Or was Anakin, really dead?

_No, he's there;__I can feel it_.

And, if he _was_ still there, what would the future hold for them? She frowned almost imperceptibly. This would be far from easy. He had betrayed and murdered all that they had believed in. Nothing could ever be the same between them.

_Too much has happened, Anakin._

She turned to face the unwavering glare of Vader's mask. She looked piercingly into what she thought were his eyes. Her face was cold, unreadable. She could easily curse him and reject his offer. Vader's breathing seemed to stop.

"I will stay."

Vader closed his eyes and the mask let out a harsh breath. Relief washed over him. _Soon,_ he thought. They stood in an uncomfortable silence for a few moments until Vader spoke.

"There is a matter I must attend to." With that, he swept out of the room, his cape flaring out in his wake.

Padmé took a deep breath and looked out the viewing window at the stars. _So endless; so cold. _She felt very tired and decided to lie down for a few moments. She held a blanket tightly around her, trying to stave off the deep chill inside her. Her thoughts taunted her.

_Was it really just for Luke?_

The door opened. Padmé was surprised when a droid unit entered. She thought it would be Anakin. Was she relieved or disappointed? The droid quickly explained its purpose.

"Milady, I have brought you sustenance and some changes of clothes. Lord Vader bids you to rest yourself," the tinny voice piped up. It set the bundle of clothing on the bed and placed a tray on the nearest table.

_Lord Vader_, she thought, with loathing.

She needed a distraction.

"Would you bring me a portable HoloNet projector and a datapad? I can not just sit here doing nothing. I don't feel like sleeping right now."

"Yes, milady, right away." The droid sped off to do her bidding.

x x x x

Luke had awoken feeling surprisingly rested and noticed that his arm had had some preliminary medical attention. He was in no physical pain at the moment, but still felt much distress. He needed to calm himself and formulate a plan of action.

He wanted to see his _Mother_. He wanted to take her away from here and to the Rebel Alliance. She _had_ to meet Leia and help them win this war against the Empire. But first, he had to figure out how _not_ to get tortured and executed…_by his own Father_.

The door slid open.

Luke assumed another medical droid would enter to check up on him or sedate him. After no movement from the doorway, Luke jumped off his cot to cautiously go exploring.

Silently cursing, he noticed that he no longer had his light saber

_I can almost hear Ben or Yoda lecturing me about that,_ he thought with a sad smile.

He had to be careful if he was going to get his Mother out of here safely.

Luke heard footsteps approaching.

_Stormtroopers._

He had to act quickly. He leaned his weight on the nearest hatch to find a place to hide and avoid a confrontation. It opened outward quickly, taking him by surprise. He fell through the opening and into the unknown.

Luke slid down, down, down the narrow passageway and was rapidly picking up speed. Lights flashed past his eyes and he could not find a handhold to stop or slow his descent. His body thudded solidly against the end of the tunnel.

Suddenly, an aperture swung open and Luke felt himself drop outside into the thin atmosphere surrounding Cloud City. His legs caught on a metal beam and his body swung precariously. He tried to hoist himself up back through the opening above him with his left hand. The wind lashed around him and the hatch closed shut with a deep echo. He fell backward and cried out in fear and frustration.

_Nice, job, Luke_, he thought angrily, _you've managed to escape, only to fall to your death._

The thin air whipped around him and Luke began to feel faint with panic and a lack of oxygen. Calm swept over him as he reached out with the Force for comfort. He took a long breath and let the Force surround him and guide him. He shut his eyes and his face relaxed. The Force directed his next action.

He called out silently through the Force.

_**Leia…**_

x x x x

Luke, now safe on the _Millennium Falcon, _found no respite. Leia had tried to speak with him but he pled fatigue. He could not bear to look into her eyes, those eyes filled with concern and sadness.

_Could she even imagine?_

He closed his own eyes to block out all sensation, but his mind would not rest. He felt like a fool. He had not completed his training with Master Yoda and had instead fallen into a trap set by Vader. His _farsee_ vision of his friends in peril had caused him to leave Dagobah abruptly. Instead of rescuing his friends, he had needed rescuing, himself.

He was not yet a Jedi. He was reckless and making grave mistakes. And he had failed _her_, too.

_I have even failed in trying to rescue Mother from…Father._

His stomach clinched. He agonized about telling anyone about what he had found out about his connection to Vader. But he desperately needed someone to confide in. It was like a sin he needed to confess and cleanse himself of.

_But who would understand?_

Suddenly, a strange sensation enveloped him. It was a dark, suffocating presence that filled him with a cold dread. It was horrifyingly _all too familiar_.

"**_Luke…Luke…."_** Vader called out to him through the Force. Luke's eyes opened with recognition.

"_Father_,"Luke whispered, badly shaken. Hot, bitter tears slipped out of his eyes.

"**_My son…it is your Destiny to join the Dark Side of the Force…"_**

Luke, terrified and in anguish, called out to Ben through the Force.

"**_Ben…Ben, why didn't you TELL me?_**"

Ben Kenobi remained silent as Luke slipped into unconsciousness.

x x x x

Padmé was seated facing away from the door looking at the HoloNet when Vader entered. She switched off the handheld unit and stood up to greet him. Her face was, once again, placid and unreadable. She was also carefully guarding her thoughts and feelings.

He noted with satisfaction the she was wearing the deep green dressing gown he had provided her and that her hair was loose, just the way he liked it. He could see the thin silk of her night gown peeping out at the neckline.

_Still so very beautiful…_

"_It is done."_

He could feel Padmé's relief and happiness as she closed her eyes and turned back to the porthole as if to somehow catch a glimpse of her son speeding off to safety. Hope rose in her chest. She was grateful. He could feel it as she gazed silently out the porthole and into the long purple shadows of dusk.

_I do not want your gratitude, Padmé_, he thought with irritation. _I want your love._

He watched her for a few moments, noting her regal bearing.

_You are mine._

_Soon you will surrender completely to me._

He turned and left her quarters.


	7. Chapter 7: Waking to Wondrous Things

**A/N: QueenMeep: Luke's hand actually was cut off right before Padmé intervened. It was subtle...;-) ****  
**

**Chapter 7: Waking to Wondrous Things**

Padmé was slowly waking up…once again, it felt like she was swimming toward the light…she was relaxed, floating.

As she became more awake, she could feel the warm caress of the sun and a light breeze on her body. She leisurely opened her eyes to the beauty of a cerulean cloudless sky that she could see through the tree branches gently swaying above her. Birds were chirping and the fragrance of blossoms filled the air.

Taking a deep breath, she sat up. Her hands brushed the soft coverlet she was laying on. She was dressed in a beautiful golden sundress with tiny Nubian flowers embroidered on it that bared her shoulders to the warm sunshine. She smoothed the full skirt of her gown with a quick flick of her hand. She must have fallen asleep!

_Now, where is he?_

She looked to her right and saw Anakin sitting near her with his back propped against the tree trunk, toying idly with a deep green leaf and watching her with a rather serious look on his face. His smoldering gaze swept over her body, caressing her, which brought a rosy blush to her cheeks.

He was so handsome and looked rather dashing with his tousled longish dark blonde hair and dressed in his dark Jedi tunic. He was completely oblivious to his appeal, which made him even more desirable to her. And the scar along the right side of his face did nothing to detract from him, she thought.

She smiled at him, delighted. Then she laughed. The look on Anakin's face was priceless, in her opinion. He looked a bit puzzled, which was comical to her. He gave a slight inquisitive smile at her bemusement, but he also had a wary look in his eyes.

"Oh, _Anakin_! You do not_ know_ just how _happy_ I am at this moment!" Padmé exclaimed with a sigh. She stretched her arms above her languidly with a blissful grin.

Anakin cocked his head in inquiry and raised an eyebrow, waiting for her to elaborate. She moved closer to him and placed her head on his left shoulder as his left arm came up around her to gently bring her closer to him. He looked down at her with an appreciative and longing glance. He _always_ wanted her near him.

He closed his eyes and savored the feel of her. A stray curl fell from her intricate coif and Anakin's leather clad right hand moved to tenderly smooth the curl from her face as she looked up lovingly at him. She had an impish look on her face as she began to describe her fanciful tale.

"I had the most amazing dream! Or, rather, it was more like a _nightmare_..." She began.

Anakin looked down at Padmé's joyous upturned face with hooded eyes. He really, _really_ wanted to kiss her.

_But that will have to wait. _

"What _kind_ of dream…?" Anakin haltingly inquired, one eyebrow raised.

"Well…it was rather _strange_…We were far from Naboo…In fact, it seems like I was in a coma at a medical facility on Coruscant," she rolled her eyes in exasperation and continued her tale, "for many _years_ and then I awoke." Padmé's brow wrinkled with the vivid and unpleasant recollection.

Anakin nodded faintly; his mouth opened slightly and his eyes widened imperceptibly as he registered that bit of information.

_Interesting._

"Everything had changed in the Universe. Oh, Ani, it was truly _awful_! I found out all my friends had died…" her face became really sad, "Even _you_…"

Anakin, clearly uncomfortable, gave a slight disbelieving grin. His eyes looked weary. Anakin's arm tightened around her. His other hand gently stroked her cheek. Padmé put her face to Anakin's chest and grew maudlin.

"Can we talk about this later, Anakin? I just want to savor this moment, the happiness we have…our time together with no interruptions," Padmé snuggled closer to Anakin, inhaling his scent. Anakin could intensely feel Padmé's love and, closing his eyes, he sighed as the pleasant sensation washed over him.

"Of course, my love," Anakin replied in a throaty whisper, rubbing his cheek against her hair. He had always preferred action over words, anyway, and he was no longer interested in hearing the rest of Padmé's odd dream.

Anakin's right arm went further around Padmé to embrace her fully, as he buried his nose in her sun-warmed hair, savoring the sweet fragrance of Meleas blossoms. Padmé sighed and held Anakin to her closer, just reveling in the sensation.

She reached her hand up to twine her fingers around Anakin's Padawan braid and found his loose, shoulder-length hair instead. Puzzled, she moved slightly away from Anakin to glance up at his face. His expression as he looked back at her was guarded.

_That scar_…Her gaze lowered as her hand grazed his black-gloved right hand…_He didn't wear the glove until…_

"But how can this be?" She murmured, with growing agitation. "We were only on Naboo together a short time when…"

As she stared directly into his eyes, she could see sadness in them. It caused her heart to clench. She sat upright, puzzled.

"Anakin, what's going on? Something is not right here. We're on Naboo and everything is perfect, but something is off…"

Anakin turned his eyes away from hers.

"Anakin, _tell me_ we are on Naboo and everything is perfect." Padmé pleaded, hands grasping his tunic. Anakin closed his eyes and remained silent; his arms gently trying pull her back into his embrace.

She pushed abruptly out of his arms and stood up. Her eyes were wild with a dawning realization.

"_Blast!_ _This_ is the dream, isn't it?"

Anakin opened his eyes but would not look at her, instead focusing on a point in the distance. He sighed deeply under her perusal, clearly uncomfortable. But he remained stoic, with his back leaning against the tree trunk.

"Anakin, _tell me the truth_! How did you do it? _How_?" Padmé demanded.

Anakin sighed again and looked up at her. If she hadn't been so agitated, that piercing look would have disarmed her. He crossed his arms in an unconscious defense gesture. _She was beautiful even in her anger; a fierce warrior goddess,_ he mused He carefully chose his words.

"Padmé, you're sleeping right now, and I…I…"

"You entered my dream! But _why_?" She had cut him off. He could never say she wasn't quick-witted, he thought wryly, with a slight shake of his head.

Anakin rose up and towered over Padmé. "I thought it would be easier to talk to you this way instead of…"He reached toward her.

"In real life…" Padmé turned away.

"Yes," Anakin admitted, defeated.

"Padmé…I could _sense_ the revulsion you had when you first saw my…mask…" She turned back to him; his voice sounded pained. He looked so forlorn that Padmé immediately wanted to comfort him. But she was also exasperated at the ruse.

Padmé took a deep breath to calm herself. Then she yawned. She was mortified.

_How terribly inappropriate! _

"So, this _dream_ is a _lie_ and the _nightmare_ is the _truth_!" She ground the words out, trying to dampen her irritation.

Suddenly Padmé was exhausted and felt unsteady on her feet. Anakin approached her, took her in his arms and gathered her to his chest. She did not resist. His right hand snaked around her body as his left hand caressed her neck.

"_Oooh…_Why am I so tired, Ani? I feel like I will collapse…"

Padmé sighed petulantly as her legs lost feeling. Anakin's heart warmed at her pet name for him as her head lolled on her neck. He gently put his hand on her head to cradle her at his chest and he brushed her cheek gently with his warm fingers. When he spoke again, she could feel his deep voice rumbling in his chest.

"Padmé, you only have so much dream time until you fall into a deep dreamless sleep where I can not enter. You've been through so much recently that you most likely need a great deal of rest. I think I will have to let you go, now," Anakin murmured, his voice heavy with regret.

Padmé's eyes closed as exhaustion enveloped her in a cloak of oblivion. She could vaguely hear Anakin whispering her name through the Force. Her last thought was of Anakin; the last thing she felt were Anakin's arms around her body. His were lips pressed against her temple, holding her tightly to him as she slipped into the abyss.


	8. Chapter 8: Consternation

**_A/N: _****_forceuser1456: Point taken…thanks:-) And a thank you to all readers & reviewers!_**

**Chapter 8: Consternation**

Vader sighed in frustration, although the sound came out only as a harsh breath.

_All too short._

He observed Padmé asleep on the cot and wished that they had had more time together. They needed to reacquaint themselves. He needed to reacquaint himself with a way of being he had not known since he thought she had died. Or reinvent that side of him. Part of him had died when he was told she was dead.

His thoughts were racing with painful unanswered questions. How could he never have thought to seek out her Force signature? Why had he not questioned his Master? He never imagined that his Master would deceive him like that. Perhaps there were other things he was deceived about, as well.

_You fool. _

He could not get enough of watching her, but it was not enough. _I want more._

He was the second most powerful being in the universe; he could have anything he wanted by force. But he knew that Padmé could not be won over in such a manner.

He wanted her to be comfortable with his mask and suit and welcome him to her, not revile him or fear him as he sensedshe did. It would take time…

He had carefully cultivated her dream to a most happy time in their past, but he knew she would figure out the truth eventually. He only hoped she would not reject him the next time he would enter her dream state, which he could not wait to do.

But he was most gratified to find out one _key _piece of information:

_Padmé had been in a coma and had not voluntarily hidden from me all these years._

That would also somewhat explain why Luke was so surprised to see his Mother. She could not have raised him.

_That is most curious. _

He knew Luke had been profoundly shocked to meet his Mother; he felt it in the Force. And she had been just as shaken.

He also knew that Luke had wanted to take Padmé away from him. He let the anger rise up in him. They was no way in Sith that Vader would ever allow that. His son would have to learn his place and Vader's side.

_So would Padmé. _

He sat gazing at Padmé before he went to take his own rest in the adjoining cabin. She was sleeping deeply and he once again carefully made sure she was covered by the blanket. She never liked to be too warm while sleeping, he remembered, but his sensors told him the room was on the chilly side. Temperature did not affect him anymore.

Impetuously, he reached out to touch Padmé's hand, wanting any contact with her, but thought better of it; how horrid to touch her but not really be able to feelher? His hand curled into a tight fist. What if his cold, impersonal touch caused her to waken?

She would be disgusted; he could not bear that. He ground his teeth in frustration.

Perhaps one day his Vader persona would not cause such a violent reaction in her, but now was not the time to chance it. He rose to leave; he did not want the first thing for her to see when she awoke again to be Darth Vader.

He did not want to break the tenuous thread he believed he had forged with her this night in her dream state. _I will win her back. I know it._ Their connection was growing stronger and stronger. He could feel her love for him in her dream. He could sense it and he was very pleased.

More pleased than he has been in a long while.

_Correction: I can feel her love for Anakin Skywalker. Anakin Skywalker is dead. Now she will come to love Darth Vader. _

x x x x

Padmé woke feeling disoriented. She was half expecting to be back on Naboo with Anakin, and was sorely disappointed when her eyes focused on the sterile silver-grey walls of the cabin. She felt tears spring unbidden to her eyes and she impatiently wiped them away. She had no time for such emotions.

She wondered where Anakin was and when she would see him again. But the thought of that forbidding mask gave her a shudder. It was just awful.

She stood up and paced the room, hoping to turn her thoughts to other things.

_Where is Luke? Is he safe? And my Leia, will I ever meet her?_

Padmé felt a painful jolt. She wanted to know of her children, but did not want to speak of them around Anakin. Something told her not to confide her longing to see her children. Anakin or not, he was a Sith Lord and Force only knew how he felt about them. She did not really trust him. She really didn't know him anymore. He had tried to kill Luke. She'd seen it with her own eyes. There is no telling what he could do to Leia.

A cold sensation crawled up her spine and a powerful thought came unbidden to her mind. She pressed her fingers to her mouth with dismay.

_He doesn't know about Leia. _

Padmé felt both hopeful and profoundly sad at the same time. She desperately hoped Leia would never meet Darth Vader. Little did she know that Leia _had_ met Vader, with disastrous results.

x x x x

Vader could feel it when Padmé awoke and he felt all her subsequent tempestuous emotions. He paused in the corridor, noting their growing Force connection. He took a deep breath and shook his head slightly.

He wanted to go to her, but he had an important holo transmission with the Emperor, where he would have to explain how Luke Skywalker managed to escape. As he stalked through the corridors, he could feel the fear emanating from the crew as he passed them. It pleased him; it made him feel more feral, powerful, and _alive_.

As he approached the holo room, he carefully hid his feelings of Padmé from the Emperor, knowing that the Emperor would sense any weakness and use it accordingly. He imagined that his Master would take great pleasure in taking Padmé from him, _again_.

He entered the room, and as the door closed shut, Darth Vader bent at the knee to the holo image of the hooded Emperor. The cold, harsh tones from Vader's mask respectfully addressed the flickering blue image:

"What is thy bidding, my Master?"


	9. Chapter 9: Dreams of Rain

**_Disclaimer: Star Wars is the property of George Lucas.  
_**

**_A/N: I want to thank all my kind reviewers. I really appreciate the feedback and it keeps the muse fed. Thanks for reading._**  
_**BarkingdogBARK: **Thanks for the multiple reviews! You have now reached Jedi Master status.  
**searth05: **I dedicate this chapter to you. You'll know why…;-)_

**---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------**

**Chapter 9: Dreams of Rain**

Padmé awoke to the smell of rain.

As she came to more of an awareness, she let the sound of the rain envelop her. She stretched languidly and took a deep breath of the fragrant air. Her hands then lay on the bodice of the garment she was wearing, and she caressed the soft velvet fabric over her ribcage.

It had been so long ago since she had felt this peaceful. She made to rise and find him. She could feel he was near. She wanted to see him again. Her pulse quickened at the thought.

_This feels so real_, she thought in bemusement.

Her bare feet touched the smooth stone floor. Dressed in a royal blue velvet evening gown, she stood up and looked around for her husband. As she moved to exit her chamber, she spied her reflection in the mirror and paused.

The neckline of the midnight blue gown was deeply rounded and partially bared her shoulders. The sleeves fit tightly down her arms and ended at the elbow. The unadorned bodice, stiff and flat, showed off her creamy décolleté to an advantage. It nipped in her midsection and ended with a point just below her waist, where a full skirt flowed to the floor. Her dark hair was pulled back from her heart-shaped face into a simple cascade of curls; she looked exactly as she did twenty standard years ago.

The outer door of her room that opened to the vine-covered balcony was slightly ajar. The shutters were open and letting in a warm breeze, which would explain the fresh smell of rain. She slipped through the door and out onto the veranda.

_Where was he?_

She walked toward the outer door to his room, which she somehow _knew_ was next to hers. Her hand on the doorknob, she was about to enter his room, when she abruptly turned opposite the door, the heavy fabric of her skirt swirling about her ankles.

She saw him in partial shadow leaning on the balustrade, letting the gentle warm rain caress his upturned face. He was dressed in a simple tunic and loose chausses. Both his hair and the tunic were slightly darkened by the droplets. Her heart warmed at the image.

_He always **was** fascinated with the rain and bodies of water, _she thought, smiling softly.

Tatooine had been a harsh, desert climate, virtually barren of water, whereas Naboo was lush and always had an abundance. And they were most definitely on Naboo…

_A much more inviting place than-_ she winced faintly at the thought of the bare room that would be there when she really woke up.

She heard him sigh. She did not want to interrupt his revelry.

_How many chances does Anakin have to enjoy such moments as –? _

She stopped that train of thought; she did not want to even think of his new dark persona.

"Anakin…" she whispered, not really even loud enough for anyone to hear, but Anakin heard her, nonetheless. He always knew when she was near. Just as she always knew when _he_ was near her, too.

He turned his face to her and gave her a wistful smile. He had hoped she would not still be angry with, in his belief, the necessary deception of this dream world. He straightened up to his full height, his dark blonde hair somewhat damp from the rain.

He moved slightly toward her; he wanted to hold her, caress her, but he felt her hesitation. His breath caught in his throat in a painful lump. He closed his eyes again, and turned back towards the balcony railing, hiding his bitter disappointment.

_She must to come to me._

Padmé gazed at him intently. She could not let this go on any longer without knowing the truth. She had ruminated over many things while she was alone in her room during the day. And now they were together again, in a manner of speaking…

She had to know.

"Anakin…do you regret anything?" She asked softly, as she approached his side. Anakin opened his eyes and looked at her a moment before speaking, his blue eyes flashing at her. He blinked his eyes rapidly, feeling his emotions stirring.

"Since I found you alive?_ No_," he blurted tersely, with a slight shake of his head. His jaw was set. Then a shadow passed over his face.

She watched him closely as he looked down and frowned…another thought was rising up in his mind. Anakin was suddenly besieged by guilt.

_I must tell her._

"No, that's not true. I _do_ regret,' he took a deep breath, "…using the Force on you… in anger."

She was silent as she abruptly turned from him. He could feel the pain emanating from her at the memory. She moved a bit away from him.

_How could you, Anakin?_

He would be completely honest with her and hoped desperately that she would not reject him. He could not bear that.

_Don't leave me, Padmé. _

Anakin was struggling with a tempest of fierce emotions. He felt like he was choking with unwanted thoughts and feelings. The old fear of loss surged in him.

"Forgive me," he whispered sadly, "I'm so sorry…."

Padmé's figure remained tense and unapproachable; she kept her back to him as she ground her teeth and fought off her tears. She did not even want to look at him!

_I should walk away from him right now. Shut him out. But I don't want to!_

"Padmé-" he began awkwardly, "...As the medic droids worked to save my life, all I could think about was _you_..." he looked at her earnestly, his eyes imploring her to face him again.

"I woke in the medical bay …and…I was told you were _dead_…and… that…that _I_ had killed you." His voice fell to a thick, anguished whisper.

"I had _nothing, _Padmé. I had destroyed what I sought to save…"

Trembling with shock and astonishment, Padmé turned back to him, feeling his anguish as if it were her own. _All these years he thought he had killed me ?_ Her eyes glittered with unshed tears. She had wanted to stay aloof, distant.

_But the things you have done, Anakin! Horrible, unspeakable, unforgivable things! The younglings! _She panted, trying to breathe and opened her mouth to denounce him with that very thought.

"Padmé," he gritted out brokenly through clenched teeth, "I have mourned you every day we have been apart!" She took a deep, shaky breath. She could not bear to hear any more. She had to walk away, but instead faced him again.

He looked at her forbidding face, utterly heartbroken. His eyes pleaded with her.

"Please, Padmé, I love you; I need you with me…" He held out a trembling hand toward her.

"Oh Ani," she murmured painfully, feeling the heavy waves of his sorrow wash over her. She could not bear his anguish; it tore at her own heart.

The tears that ran down his face were her undoing. She reached a hand to touch him, and, feeling the tension in his body, pulled him to her. His arms went awkwardly around her. She caressed his face and wiped his tears.

Gently cupping his face in her hands, she guided him down to her and whispered, "I love you, too, Anakin. Despite it all, I have never _stopped_ loving you." Anakin was suddenly overwhelmed with joy at her admission. Hot tears coursed down his face as he tried to smile.

Tenderly, she kissed his forehead, and then pressed feather-light kisses to his closed eyes, tasting his tears. Anakin moaned quietly in protest when Padmé stopped her kisses to gaze at him. He opened his eyes to look at her with a deep and intense longing.

_Love, me, Padmé._

Padmé softly pressed her lips to Anakin's mouth and he closed his eyes at the glorious sensation. He held his fervor in check, though; he would not push her. She had to come to him willingly, as always.

The feeling of Padmé's tongue gently caressing his lips and entering his mouth caused Anakin to gasp due to the powerful heat coursing through his body. He felt intoxicated. He sought to hold back his intense need, not wanting to overwhelm her.

Anakin deepened the kiss, pulling Padmé against his body and allowing her to feel his fierce desire. His hands caressed her back and moved lower, bringing her hips flush against his arousal. Padmé cried out softly in pleasure and she slipped a hand in his tunic to caress his warm muscular flesh. He desperately wanted her. He would show her that he had never stopped loving her or wanting her after all these years.

"I want you, Padmé. _Please_..."

Moaning softly in response, she clung to him as if she were dying. His hands moved purposefully up and down her body eliciting cries of delight from her. Anakin broke their heady kiss to trail his lips hotly down Padmé's neck, barely noticing that her arms were no longer holding him. She had gone limp in his arms.

He held her slightly away from him with bewilderment, and then groaned in frustration. A stream of foul Huttese curses formed in his mind.

_She was falling_ _asleep_! _How long **had** they been talking this evening?_

He would have laughed through his frustration if the situation was not just so… _pathetic_. He shook his head in chagrin.

He picked her up in his arms and swiftly took her back to her chamber. Padmé's eyes fluttered open briefly as he gently set her down on the bed. She reached out her hand to him, her arm feeling leaden. He took her hand and held it as she slipped farther away from him. The last thing she felt was Anakin whispering her name and words of love, while tenderly kissing her hand as the darkness descended upon her.


	10. Chapter 10: The Expedition

**Chapter 10: The Expedition**

Vader stood in front of the view port, his arms crossed in front of him.

He surveyed the passing of Imperial ships outside the quarters he had commandeered on Cloud City and reflected on the most recent events. His business in the Bespin System was now completed, albeit not with the conclusion that he had expected.

He had lured young Skywalker to trap him and bring him to the Emperor. It was all too easy to manipulate him with the mere thought of a threat to his friends. He recalled how the Jedi were admonished against attachments.

_Obviously, Obi-Wan had not bothered to pass on that key information, _he thought with some irritation.

_Would it have mattered? Had such caution mattered to me? _

He quickly squelched that train of thought. He was in no mood to reflect on his own failings with the Jedi Code. His thoughts turned back to Luke.

_The Force is strong in my son_, he thought, with swelling pride.

_He will serve the Emperor well. _And another thought blossomed in his mind. A belief he kept well hidden from his master.

_And together we will overthrow the Emperor when the time is right_.

Vader's thoughts turned back to his Master's displeasure with him. He had allowed his son to escape, this time.

_For her…_ his heart warmed at the thought of her.

His Master had been quite angry at his failing. Vader was sure to be severely punished for his 'mistake', but he felt no trepidation. Now that he had found Padmé, he knew no fear. A cold, sickening feeling crawled up his spine.

_No, that is not true. She is not safe; I must keep her hidden away._

Vader turned toward the door connecting their rooms and contemplated their next move. A pair of droids purposefully deconstructed and packed his portable pressurized capsule into a heavy durasteel container.

He was anxious to see her, but waited to enter her quarters until he knew she was fully dressed. He could sense everything that was happening in her cabin. He picked up a bundle from a chair, sighed deeply and moved to join her.

The adjoining door slid open without a sound, and Vader stepped through the doorway, both watching and sensing her reaction to him. She was completely serene at his approach. He preferred her coolness to complete revulsion.

_At least it was progress, in a sense._

She had just finished braiding her long silver-streaked mahogany hair, coiled it around her head, and fastened it with jeweled hairpins. A few tendrils of hair framed her face in an artless and completely fetching display. Vader devoured her with his gaze. He noted with appreciation that she was wearing a deep wine-colored gown; she would never know how he caressed her with his eyes. Forcing himself out of his reverie, Vader abruptly spoke.

"I will escort you to my ship, the_ Executor_. You will wear this veil and cloak." He brusquely held out the dark grey garment and long gauzy opaque veil that had been draped on his arm.

He could feel Padmé bristling at his abrupt order. She was poised to argue with him. "It is for your own safety," he added.

She grasped the heavy, silken cloth to her. She frowned and looked up at him, expecting more of an explanation. None was forthcoming.

A droid entered and went to the closet to pack her few pieces of clothing as Padmé silently draped the veil over her face, pulled the deep hood of the cloak over her head, and fastened the frogs at her throat. She was completely covered and shielded from any prying eyes.

They swiftly walked down the deserted corridors to the landing bay and up the ramp to Vader's Imperial shuttle; two droids trailed them, one with Padmé's metal traveling case. Curiously, they had met no one along the way. Padmé could not know that Vader had manipulated the Force to clear out all areas they were approaching so that there would be no witnesses to her passing. He would do the same when they arrived on the _Executor_. No one would know of Padmé's presence. It was for her protection.

His caution was justified. Vader knew that the Emperor would take great joy in torturing and murdering his old nemesis from the old Republic Senate- right in front of him. He recalled how Palpatine had laughed when he informed Vader about Padmé's death, those many years ago. So he would take every possible precaution to ensure her safety. He would trust no one to keep his secret. Fear clutched at him. Vader thought he had conquered it, but Fear was present, once again, since Padmé returned to him.

_I will not lose you again. _

"Anakin, who or what are you hiding me from?" Padmé asked, as she took the seat next to his in the cockpit.

Awaiting his answer, she gave a cursory glance at the control panel, checking the navigation grid. Anakin gave one last passing glance to the ships internal systems monitors and prepared for takeoff. He answered her without turning toward her.

"My Master."

Padmé flushed with anger.

x x x x

Vader escorted Padmé to her new quarters.

She had remained utterly silent throughout the flight and subsequent disembarkment and he found that somewhat unsettling. Padmé had a natural inquisitive nature about all things and was never shy about her curiosity. He had thought she would have asked questions about the subtle changes in flight technology or even asked to fly his ship- she had been a more then adequate pilot. Or at the least, asked him why they were now moving to his ship. But she said not a word.

Their footsteps echoed in the ship's empty corridors until Vader stopped at their destination. The door slid open at Vader's approach. Padmé went immediately to the large corner floor-to-ceiling duraglass view port to look at the dark sky outside the ship, completely ignoring what Vader had hoped were adequate furnishings for his wife. He followed her half way into the room, but then stopped himself.

Vader glanced around the chamber, noting the partially closed dark, heavy velvet window coverings as well as the plush cushions and throws for her comfort. He had had to erase the memory of the Stormtrooper he had sent to procure these small sumptuous trappings of humanity. He knew there were several fine gowns, slippers, and accessories in the closet, as well as exquisite jewelry for her adornment.

It would not do for anyone to know that the Dark Lord was seeking fine silks, velvets, and the like to decorate a chamber as well as a trim female form. Or the small water fountain that he thought would provide a soothing sound for Padmé in her solitude. He wanted her comfortable and he wanted her quarters to look more lived in and less sterile than his own specialized chamber—more _human_.

Engrossed in his own musings, he did not notice Padmé watching him in the reflection of the thick glass, so he was surprised when she called out to him as he silently made to leave her. He brusquely turned around to face her when he heard her voice.

"Will you tell me, again, why you wear your suit and mask?"

There was a long pause as Vader seemed to glare at her, then he abruptly stated, "Obi-wan did this to me. He left me to _die_ on Mustafar."

He saw her saddened face in the reflection and felt her sorrow; it made him gnash his teeth. She could feel his mounting anger at the old, painful memory, although he remained unnaturally still and said nothing further. Hatred rose in Vader and radiated off him in waves. There was an uncomfortable silence, save from Vader's respirator.

"Do your wounds still hurt?" Her voice was low with sorrow, and she was still looking at his mask in the reflection, searching.

"_Not the physical ones_."

He turned abruptly and stalked furiously out of her chamber.


	11. Chapter 11: How Soon Is Now?

**A/N: **_Dearest Readers: thank you all for the comments and encouragement. _

_I'm back in the country…was far, far away in a place where I could rail against sand (I HATE SAND), and have some quiet time to think of this story._

**Chapter 11: How Soon Is Now?**

Padmé woke on her bed in the same dark blue velvet gown she had worn in the previous dream. She took a deep breath. The bodice felt much too tight. She was restless and impatient to see Anakin. But she felt so much better in this fanciful world than in the wakeful hours.

Here she was not plagued with the myriad of aches, near constant fatigue, and throbbing headaches. Oh yes, the weak, craven side of her liked it _much_ better here. Where she did not have to really think of how truly horrid things had become, although she knew deep down that she really _should_ have been thinking of those things- and dealing with them.

But she had never been allowed to be weak; never as Senator Amidala and definitely not as Queen of Naboo. This was a secret haven for her.

She allowed the irritation to arise at the thought of the burden of false perfection that had weighed so heavily on her. Of course, everyone _expected_ their young Queen to be 'perfect' and that expectation had spilled over into her idealistic senatorial career. She had played that role flawlessly.

But she did have many faults, all kept in secret. And the biggest, most glaring shortcoming, and the largest of her skeletons in the cupboard, was that she had done what was most forbidden: she'd fallen in love with a Jedi.

And married him.

_And then look what happened,_ she thought.

She quickly banished the negative thoughts from her mind.

_Where is he?_ she thought, feeling slightly annoyed.

Sighing, she stretched her body and made to rise from the bed.

_Now, where could he be?_

Padmé took a deep breath to quiet her thoughts and finally could sense Anakin's presence. He was near. Very near. She could actually feel him.

"Anakin," she whispered in wonder, as she turned and instinctively shifted her body toward him. She could feel his aura like a warm caress.

Anakin stirred from a seat the far corner of the room where he had been cloaked in shadow, watching her. He approached the bed as Padmé sat up and swung her legs over the side of the bed to stand upright.

They both stood there looking at each other intensely for what seemed like eternity.

Her conscience, though, could not stay silent.

Her last attempt at conversation with Anakin, when she had, once again, asked about his injuries, had ended very badly. Perhaps they could speak easier in this more neutral setting? There were many, many things she needed to discuss with him. Things that would only get worse in time.

"Anakin, we really need to talk…there is-"

"No Padmé-" he interrupted her abruptly. "No words now; not yet."

She recoiled at his sharp tone and the intense and brooding look in his eyes. She stiffened with apprehension, and then quickly felt white hot indignation roll through her at his manner. Her eyes were flinty and she opened her mouth argue with him.

_Oh, yes we **will** talk, Anakin!_

Wisely interpreting the thoughts he could no longer hear from her, but instinctively knowing how she would react to what had amounted to an order from him, Anakin spoke quickly to soothe his earlier harshness.

"Please, Padmé…" his face softened as whispered his plea to her. He ground his teeth, hoping that she would not argue with him now.

_Please don't be your usual, pig-headed, stubborn self!_

She paused for an excruciatingly long moment, weighing his entreaty, and an icy bolt of fear shot through Anakin as he thought she just might have been able to read his thoughts. That would be bad. Very bad.

_Sith!_

Then she held her arms out to him.

Flooded with relief, Anakin swiftly moved into her embrace as his mouth came down upon hers in a tender kiss. He could feel her trembling as his tongue gently caressed her lips, seeking entrance. As her lips parted, Anakin deepened the kiss and heard Padmé groan with pleasure. Hot desire coursed through them both.

_It has been too long, _they both thought, simultaneously.

One hand moved up to stroke her tresses, while the other hand skimmed down her back, caressed her buttocks, and then pressed her hips against his, allowing her to feel his turgid length. She felt his desire and it matched her own.

Padmé's hands moved up his chest and wound themselves around Anakin's neck, pulling him even closer. His breathing turned harsh as his passion continued to rise. His hands moved to splay across her back, grazing the lacings of her dress. He wanted to feel the silky texture of her skin.

Suddenly, Anakin broke the kiss. Padmé moaned in disappointment. He swiftly turned Padmé so that she was facing away from him as he looked anxiously at the intricate corset fastening of her dress. His fingers moved clumsily across the lacings, trying frantically to loosen them.

_I could have imagined a simpler gown_, he thought with rising irritation.

A string of Huttese curses came to his mind.

Padmé held her tumbled curls over her shoulder to give Anakin a better view of the cords. His fingers tangled and fumbled with the lacing and he made no progress. It was taking far too long, and she sighed her displeasure. Anakin, feeling her impatience, smiled a devilish grin as he used the Force to cut the offending laces.

An extremely unwanted thought of his old Master reprimanding him for using the Force for trivial matters came into his mind. Even more foul Huttese curses came into his head, as anger welled up in him at any memory of Obi-Wan.

_Of all the times and places-_

_Focus, man!_

Anakin shook his head to clear his mind and concentrate on the immediate task. His hands violently parted the back of the bodice and he turned Padmé to face him as he ripped the fabric from her body and hurled it to the floor.

He was not going to stop there.

Soon the full midnight blue velvet skirt was pooled on the floor around Padmé's feet. Stepping out of the fabric, she was now only covered in a gossamer thin, pale blue strapless long silk chemise. Although it ended at the floor, it left absolutely nothing to the imagination. At this point, both of them were panting with their carnal thoughts.

Anakin's gaze devoured her form before him. The myriad of things he wanted to do to her flashed in his mind, egging him on. He had to calm himself for a moment or he knew it would end too soon. He slowed himself; he wanted to savor this moment.

His eyes skimmed over the rosy peaks of Padmé's breasts, the gentle curve of her hips, and the dusky shadow at the juncture of her thighs. She blushed under his smoldering gaze as he gently, but firmly pulled her closer to him. His hands began to slowly caress her, his fingers trailing down her body as he looked deep into her eyes.

He wanted more.

He brought her tightly against him as he claimed her lips once again in a deep, fevered kiss, and she moaned as the rough fabric of his tunic brushed against her aching breasts. She wanted to touch his flesh, to feel his warmth against her.

Padmé's hands reached to undo the knotted sash around his waist, pressing her body against him. She pulled the belt roughly from him and threw it to the floor. She pushed the garment apart and off his shoulders as she kissed his neck and caressed his torso with her hands as he groaned in ecstasy. She grasped the collar of his tunic and pulled it off his body, leaving him with only his trousers.

Panting, eyes feverish and glassy, Anakin stepped back from Padmé while his hands continued to stroke her neck and collarbone. His fingers trailed lightly downward as their eyes locked gazes. He hooked his fingers between her breasts, under the edge of her chemise. The offending garment tore completely down the front, was snatched from her body, and tossed violently from them.

Anakin paused to regard her with wolfish and possessive eyes.

_Mine._

She was not coy and feigned no false modesty under his determined perusal. Padmé's nakedness inflamed his passion to even higher peaks and his mouth descended to fiercely claim her lips once more. The feeling of her warm, silken flesh against him was… intoxicating. She wound her arms tighter around his neck, pressing herself flush against him.

Body tensing with anticipation, Anakin picked up Padmé into his arms and gently laid her on the bed, never losing eye contact with her. It was now time to reacquaint themselves with the pleasure and the passion they had shared so many years ago.

Together they reclined on the bed, their bodies entwining.

But they would not sleep…

x x x x

They lay pressed together under the covers, savoring their last moments together until their next meeting.

Anakin's strong arms were wrapped around her and she could hear his heartbeat thudding solidly as her cheek rested on his chest. Padmé's other hand was curled around his neck, caressing his hair. They each lost themselves in the tactile sensations that they were deprived of otherwise.

_It feels so real,_ she mused.

Like the sand in an hourglass, Padmé could feel herself slipping languidly away, but she desperately wished she could stay longer. She dreamily looked up at Anakin's face to get one last look at him. Her brow furrowed in consternation.

He was definitely troubled.

_He looks so sad this time_, she thought as sleep descended upon her. _Why?_

She could vaguely hear Anakin whisper, lips against her temple, "I'm so sorry, Padmé, I hope you can forgive me..." and then she was gone.

x x x x

Only the sound of Darth Vader's harsh intake of breath was heard in Padmé's darkened chamber.

His continual respiratory inhale and exhalation cycle broke the heavy silence. The control function panel lights on his breastplate glowed eerily, making his presence even more ghastly in the gloom. It was the stuff of nightmares.

Vader painstakingly smoothed the cover over her sleeping form and gently wound one of her long curls around his gloved fingers before reluctantly withdrawing his hand. He wanted to savor the moment, but his ever-present companions, fear and doubt, had returned and sidled up next to him while he watched her serene expression.

_My Love…_

He slowly rose and, giving his Angel one last regretful glance, went into the solace of his own chamber. It tormented him because he knew that soon their idyll would have to end.

_It was inevitable._

Love, for them, was part and parcel to suffering. Their past had not been easy. His jaw hardened at the memory. Their future would never be easy together, he knew, but they could not be apart. He would not allow it.

Yet, for all his love for her, he still had his duty.

_It is_ _destiny, Padmé._ _We can not escape it._

His chamber door locked silently behind him as he reclined and allowed the droid to remove his helmet and mask.

He would now rest.


	12. Chapter 12: Dark Illumination

**Chapter 12: Dark Illumination**

"I hope you find your new quarters acceptable."

"Do I have a choice?" Padmé's tone was snappish.

"Or will you cut off my hand, too?"

Vader paused, shocked.

He was wondering when Padmé would bring that up.

In fact, he was expecting a confrontation a lot sooner, although he was hoping against hope that it would not come up at all. Was she afraid of him, like everyone else, except the Emperor? He felt, at once, both pleased and saddened.

_How really twisted have I become?_

Vader gritted his teeth behind the impassive mask and waited for a further verbal assault from her. He was a bit surprised when she did not continue the discourse. They would discuss this at a later time, then. He was sure of it. Padmé would never let something like that go. As it was, he did not like to think of what he had done. Any of it.

_Monster._

Padmé was being provoking, and she knew it. Being kept isolated grated on her. Even as Queen of Naboo, she had had more freedom! She wished she had at least one of her handmaidens for company. She had no idea what happened to them.

_Are they even still alive? _Padmé's train of thought was interrupted by Vader's hollow, clipped tones.

"I am leaving on a mission," he paused, his mask turned to her as if he were inspecting her reaction.

"If you need to contact me, I will leave an encrypted channel for you on the comlink in my chamber. The door will allow you access. And I will leave you a portable holo-unit and datapad for your own use. "

"Where are you going? How long will you be gone?" She was vaguely anxious that he was leaving and did not know why.

"I will return within seven standard days or send word through the droid."

With that, Vader exited her cabin without looking back.

Padmé sighed and slumped down onto the couch, her head in her hands.

She could feel the beginnings of another headache forming. It was going to be one long, tedious week with no contact except an unfamiliar droid unit for company. She shook her head.

_It is moments like this when I really miss Threepio's incessant chatter._

She wondered what had happened to Anakin's protocol droid.

_And what of Artoo?_

She felt a pang of sadness. She was irritated that she was getting all misty over droids and rubbed her hands roughly over her arms to soothe her aching muscles. She was also hoping to stave off the chill she felt moving up her body.

_How long am I going to be hidden away like this? _

Taking the holoprojector in a shaky hand, she was desperate for any outside information that she could get.

x x x x

The next morning, like a well-tuned chrono, the droid entered Padmé's chamber with a meal.

It greeted her with the usual irritatingly idle chatter. "Lord Vader is on a reconnaissance mission. He is also to inspect the construction of the new space station. It will be the size of a small moon and the most powerful in the galaxy. It has been dubbed the 'Death Star'. He will not be expected back for at least a standard week."

_I already knew how long he would be gone_, she thought, impatiently, _but the droid did tell me something I did not know…space station…'Death Star'._

She shuddered in revulsion.

Padmé remained silent. She went to her holoprojector to see what kind of news and archived information she could get, especially about this so-called '_Death Star'_. She wondered if her holo-unit would be prohibited from even the most basic information.

She would surely go mad from boredom.

Her thoughts moved away from Anakin to her children. As of yet, she and Anakin had not spoken of them. It was too raw and difficult a thing to do at this time. She gnawed on her lip in consternation. She desperately wanted to see Luke and Leia.

_If only I had a plan…_

x x x x

She had counted six frustratingly long standard days and wondered when Anakin would return.

To help while away the time, Padmé thought of her nocturnal meetings with Anakin. She looked forward to being with him again, she thought with a blush. She felt a bit disgusted with herself, though. And, at this point, she would even welcome a day visit from Vader. He no longer repulsed her in that suit, but it was still an awful reminder of his wicked deeds. But she was so bored!

A small thought nagged at her. It was like the shrill buzzing of tiny wings.

There was something on the horizon of her consciousness. Something hidden, clouded. She could feel it- but what was causing her this growing uneasiness? She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, clearing her thoughts. She reached out with her mind and let her senses steer her. She felt light, floating.

_Guide me._

She soon felt a coldness wash over her.

Like a fist in her stomach, Padmé suddenly and painfully realized why Anakin had asked for her forgiveness. She opened her eyes, trying to banish the vision. She felt sick to her stomach and she was trembling with anxiety. A cold sweat had broken out on her brow.

"No!"

_He wouldn't- he couldn't!_

She stood up and paced around the chamber like a caged animal.

He was returning soon. She knew she had to confront him with her newest suspicions. No more judiciously avoiding anything but the most superficial of conversations. No more trying to come up with a diplomatic way of discussing it. They would finally have it out.

Padmé resolved to seek him out in his chambers when he returned to his quarters.

She had to know.

_He will tell me the truth._

x x x x

Vader had felt her troubled thoughts as he sought out her unique presence in the Force.

He had been doing that often, trying to regain their lost connection, but ever so subtly that Padmé would not know he was doing it. He did not like what he sensed. Sighing in irritation, he knew it was time for the confrontation. Padmé had always been direct and he did not expect her to change at this point.

He shook his head wearily.

x x x x

It was late when Darth Vader returned to the _Executor_.

The fact finding mission was a success. After briefing his officers, he immediately made way to his chambers. As soon as the outer door slid closed, the door adjoining his chamber with Padmé's slid open.

Although he was expecting a battle with her, Vader was taken aback when Padmé abruptly entered his chamber. He was expecting her to attack when he entered her territory. It came to him that she had never entered his chamber before.

_Perhaps she missed me in my absence?_ He thought, mockingly.

He could definitely sense otherwise.

"You've tricked me!" She began heatedly, her fists clenched at her sides. For a moment, he thought she was going to pummel him, but she made no such move.

Vader remained aloof. He was in a fairly benevolent mood…for a Sith Lord. Things were going as planned. He would allow her to speak her mind- up to a point.

"You let Luke go to get my cooperation, but you were planning all along to capture him again and turn him over to the Emperor." Her eyes were fierce at the betrayal. How could she have trusted him?

He remained mute.

_And so it begins._

"Anakin, you _lied_ to me!"

Vader groaned to himself. She was far too smart for her own good.

_Why did I think I would be able to keep anything from her? This is going to cost me some peace._

He rolled his eyes behind the mask, completely exasperated.

She could really be infuriating.

Somehow, after all these years, he had forgotten that. And he didn't think his old charm would work on her this time. He was really rather fatigued and had only wanted to look in on his Angel before resting.

He chose his words carefully.

"I did not lie to you, Padmé. I just left out some…_details_." Quite pleased with himself, a grin formed on his scarred lips. He had outwitted the Senator.

It was a good thing she could not see the smirk on his face behind the mask. She was already furious enough. She would have probably spat fire at him, if it were possible. She looked ready to claw him apart. He almost laughed aloud at that mental image.

"_Details?" _She was sputtering with her rage. "Like hunting down your own son? Anakin, you can't do this! This is your son!"

A tiny wisp of guilt curled in Vader. He squelched it immediately by concentrating on his irritation at Padmé's defiance. He stood there, towering over her. It made most people cower in terror when he did that. He would not tolerate her insolence. But, to his chagrin, she showed not one whit of fear.

They stood at an impasse.

Padmé had suddenly calmed her tirade, instinctively knowing that Anakin could shut down on her and block her out if she pressed him too much. He could be just as stubborn as she was, but had often let his anger get the best of him.

_He was never as in control of his emotions as I was_, she thought sadly_, and that probably has not changed._

And she really did not think the years would have calmed him.

_Is there any way out of this?_ Hopelessness welled up inside her.

Padmé knew she had to get through to him, to reason with him, but she was suddenly feeling a spark of desperation. What if she could not convince him to see reason? She had failed to do so, before, with catastrophic results. This brought her uncomfortably back to another place…long ago. She could not lose hope in him.

She drew near him, eyes glittering, her voice dropping to a painful whisper.

"Let's go away from here, Anakin. In some remote corner of the universe. Just _us_. Away from all of this."

Her chocolate eyes were large and liquid as they implored him. Vader was assailed by uncomfortable memories of long ago, on Mustafar. This conversation was sickeningly all too familiar and he felt tendrils of anger and grief rising in him as he looked down at her stricken face.

"It is too late, Padmé, " he began, haltingly. "There is no place in the universe where my Master could not find me…and _you_."

"I am tired of this." She hissed through clenched teeth. "I know our lives can never be 'normal'…but if I can't have my children with me, I want to at least live the rest of my life with my husband, in peace. Somewhere, _anywhere_. Please, Anakin."

She ceased trying to hold her emotions in check and allowed the tears to fall. Vader would not be moved. The tenderness he felt at Padmé's entreaty was strangled by a stronger, more powerful emotion of blinding rage. Did she think he was so weak that she could control him?

"_Anakin is dead_. I am Vader."

Padmé recoiled as if she'd been slapped.

"Don't you say that! Don't you _dare_ say that to me!" Padmé screamed at him in exasperation.

A thought of them entwined in a recent intimate moment flashed in her mind, shaming her to no end. She would not, _could_ not believe that Anakin was gone. She walked closer to him and put out her hand as if to touch his chest plate, her eyes boring into his behind the mask. Her hand hovered mere centimeters from him.

"Anakin, I know you are in there," her voice was low with passion, eyes boring into his, "I've known this all along…Come back to me."

She was pleading with him. His Padmé, who had never bowed down to anyone, was _pleading_ with him.

_How could things have gotten to this point?_ Anakin felt his eyes burning with unshed tears.

Instead of feeling triumph at her defeat, he was utterly miserable. Slowly his arms involuntarily moved from his sides as if to hold her to him; he was struggling with his demons. Her eyes looked up at him, beseeching. He lowered his arms again.

_I can not give in. _

Vader stared mutely down at her, seemingly without any reaction to her desperate words. His gloved cybernetic hands balled into tight fists. Outwardly, she could not see he was struggling, but she could feel the conflicting emotions radiating from him. Time stood still.

"I _must _obey my Master!"

He quickly turned away from her, cape lashing out behind him, and exited the room, appearing to be completely impervious to her sobbing. But her anguish cut through him deeply and he needed to seek out the sanctuary of his own chamber and lick his wounds.

Nausea overcame her; Padmé ran quickly to the refresher, where she promptly emptied the contents of her stomach into the basin. She lay on the cold floor, trying to calm herself.

Neither of them would sleep tonight.


	13. Chapter 13: The Darkness of Despair I

**Chapter 13: The Darkness of Despair, Part I**

Thanks to all reviewers for your encouragement. It keeps me writing.

LadySophieKitty: Unfortunately, Luke will not be showing up until the end.  I've made this a Vader/ Padmé tale. Sorry to disappoint you (and anyone else hoping for more Luke/ Leia). And thank you for the generous offer. Actually, I have an offline Beta, but I may hit you up if she grows tired of reading this stuff…she's not a huge SW fan and mostly looks for **glaring** grammatical errors. :-\

eridani: Thank you for the constructive comments; I really do appreciate it. I'll try to keep things less muddled, but I can't make any promises! ;-)

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Padmé picked herself off the refresher floor and reached for a cloth to run under the cool water and wipe her face.

After lying on the floor for an indeterminate time, she stubbornly removed herself from the 'fresher. She dragged herself to a chair by the view port. She would be damned to Sith Hell before she'd let him see her cowering on the floor like an animal.

She had stayed up late that night and each night after, unable to sleep. Her thoughts raced through events of the past and the vile possibilities of things to come. Nightmares had plagued even the small bits of sleep she could steal.

_Why does it have to be this way? _She sighed heavily.

_What kind of hold does the Emperor have over him? _

_How could he follow such a man? _

_Is he completely blind?_

Her brow furrowed.

_Or just blinded by his **own** lust for power?_

Anakin had always been ambitious, there was no doubt about it. She just could just not believe that he could be so cold and calculating about his own child. Were they all just pawns in the Emperor's game? Collateral damage in this unending battle?

_What do you expect? _

_He murdered the younglings in the Jedi Temple._

That thought brought on a fresh bout of tears that she wiped at angrily. She thought she'd had no more tears to shed.

_Fool!_

She had obstinately refused to believe Obi-Wan when he had told her all those years ago of what Anakin had done in the Jedi Temple. But she had chosen to believe in Anakin. She could not have conceived that her Ani could do such a thing. But she had been so wrong!

And still she had not learned her lesson.

x x x x

Vader was keeping his distance from her.

His nerves were raw and he did not want to be swayed by her. He avoided Padmé both on the ship and in her dreams for as long as he could. Maddening days and agonizing nights had passed without any contact with her. But she was never far from his thoughts as he went about his duties. That she was in such close physical proximity, but completely distant frustrated him. But he could not stay away for long, although each time he visited her, he angrily wished he had stayed away from her. He cursed himself for his weakness. He cursed her for her defiance of him.

In short, Padmé would not speak to him.

She would ignore his presence as if he were millions of parsecs away instead of in front of her. Or, if she did acknowledge his presence, she would stare at him in cold disdain, her eyes flinty and piercing. But she spoke not a word to him. Usually such a response from _anyone_ would garner his mild amusement before a slow, painful suffocation, but not when Padmé was involved.

_Never again._

Vader silently noted the dark smudges under her eyes and that her face was pinched and drawn. The dowdy grey dress she had chosen to wear did not help her sallow color and her hair was lank and unkempt. He would order the droid to destroy that ugly dress; it offended him. He had never seen her this way. He cursed himself for being weak because he desperately missed her smile, even though he had not seen a full smile from her in many, many years. In the uncomfortable quiet, he missed the sound of her voice. Yet her thoughts and emotions attacked him even as her tongue was silent. When he opened up to her, he was under siege. He almost regretted strengthening their Force connection, weak though it was.

Completely exasperated, Vader clutched the railing in front of her chamber's view port, twisting the metal effortlessly. Small items in her chamber vibrated as his rage and frustration grew. She was as frosty and serene as ever. If he did not leave her soon, he knew he would start shattering items in his fury, and he did not want to risk injuring her. He whirled around and stalked to his own chamber, once again completely ignored by his wife.

_She will learn her place_.

x x x x

Padmé had stopped eating.

She just had no appetite. Even the idea of food made her nauseous, and any attempts she had made to take even the smallest morsel had turned her stomach. TC-14 would take her trays and dispose of the uneaten food rations without a word. The droid had stopped attempting to make any small talk with her, as it had been rebuffed continuously.

_I will never understand humans. So illogical. _

Tee-See did not even consider contacting and reporting her odd behavior to Lord Vader, fearing its own destruction. It had seen other droids crushed for bearing even remotely bad news; and this droid unit did not want to join them. Its self-preservation directive had been finely tuned.

_The human will eat at some point,_ it rationalized, as it exited her quarters to dispose of the evidence. _I know that much about biological systems. They have a primal instinct to survive. _

Padmé heaved a deep sigh; she just could not get any rest. What little sleep she could manage to steal was still troubled, and she awoke exhausted and on edge. She wanted to see Anakin, but at the same time abhorred the very thought of him.

_Monster._

She still loved him and wanted to curse him. Her children were in danger and she felt powerless to aid them.

_Will Luke be able to resist the Dark Side of the Force? Will they kill him?_

She took to staring mutely out the window, as if hypnotized by the vast darkness. She had stopped viewing the holo-unit or reading her datapad for news. It was mostly censored, anyway, she had quickly surmised. Useless. She was growing more and more despondent. She had no way to help Luke and thwart the Emperor's plans for him. The situation seemed utterly hopeless.

_He did not even try to deny it. I can not bear to watch this happen!_

She could not allow Anakin's fate happen to Luke. A slave to the Emperor. Forever mired in darkness. Thoughts raced in her head. How can she protect her children?

_And what would happen to Leia?_ _Will Vader kill her, too? _ Her heart twisted in her chest as her thoughts leapt from bad to worse.

_If Luke succumbed to the Dark Side, would he kill his own sister? Or would she, too, be compelled to the Dark Side of the Force?_

She gritted her teeth in anguish. She balled her fists tightly and slowly bent her head down to press them to her eyes. She felt the anger rising up in her at Vader, growing with each passing moment. Anger and hatred flared white hot through her exhausted frame, threatening to consume her. She was angry with Palpatine, but even angrier with Anakin. They had pledged to love each other forever. But the love she had for him was crumbling in the wake of a new, more destructive emotion.

_I hate him!_

She heard a fluttering sound.

_What was that?_

Her head shot up and her eyes furtively searched around the room as she thought she heard whispers and soft laughter.

_Maybe I am losing my mind…_

x x x x

Vader felt a roiling kaleidoscope of sensations emanating from Padmé, without even having to actively probe her mind.

He could not stand to feel her anger and pain, emotions influenced by his dark path. It made him sick to his stomach. He remembered the last time he had made Padmé cry. He saw her face twisted in anguish as she had tried to speak, to take a breath. Vader banished the thought from his mind. He had studiously avoided thinking of that all these years, only to have it assail him now.

But Vader could not and would not allow her emotions or feelings to affect neither his purpose nor his actions. He had to focus on this most important assignment. He could not fail his Master. Or fail _himself_. Yet, he was distracted because he had never felt such strong dark emotions from Padmé.

_It is unnatural. _

He could ill afford to make a mistake again and further anger his Master before his own plans for Luke were complete. He had his own important strategy to see to fruition. Vader resolved that he would block her feelings for the time being and wait for her to cool down. It would be the best course of action for the both of them. Despite her obstinate nature, she could usually see reason.

_She will come around. She must._

Vader walked ominously past the lines of Stormtroopers flanking his entered his ship and prepared to take off. He would give her time alone. Checking the navigation grid and plugging in a set of coordinates, he fired up the engines and began his journey. Perhaps when he returned, Padmé would be more herself.

_Or at least resigned to Fate. _

x x x x

Padmé shifted from sadness to numbness to anger.

She had cried so much that it felt as if her tears had dried up permanently. Her eyes were dry and irritated. Part of her really didn't care, but a small voice inside her whispered that she wanted to feel cool water on her face- to soothe her. Lethargically, she rose from her chair and moved her stiff legs toward the refresher.

Entering the small, bright room, she made her way to the basin to rinse her face and eyes. As she spied her ghastly image in the mirror, she was filled with disgust. The wild-eyed image that stared back at her was almost unrecognizable.

_You used to be strong, Padmé. A fighter. Someone who could make changes. A leader. Fearless_, she berated herself, mercilessly.

She scorned her reflection.

_Now you are downright worthless! You can't even convince Anakin to spare his own child._

Another painful thought assailed her.

_If he loved you, he wouldn't do this._

She was filled with a sudden white-hot rage. It flowed up through her body, threatening to choke her. That face leering back was mocking her. She wanted to destroy that contemptuous ghoul!

Padmé smashed her balled fists into the mirror with all her might, shattering the glass and the sneering face. She wanted to crush her image. Shards fell into the basin, glittering wildly. Slowly tilting her head, she looked down at the bright pieces and stood spellbound by light glinting off the fragments, only vaguely feeling the sting of the cuts and bruises on her hands.

**_Do it…_**

She heard an insidious voice whisper that command in her head. She looked around her wildly, in case she was actually not alone in the small room. Where had she heard that voice before?

**_You really have nothing to live for…_**

She gazed down and the gleaming debris and painstakingly reached a hand to the largest shard of glass and grasped it tightly in her right hand, opening new cuts on her hand and smearing it with her blood. She looked back up at the fractured, wild-eyed image that peered back at her. It was smiling at her.

**_Yeeeeeeeesssssssssss… _**

Padmé slowly leaned her head to the right, exposing her neck and jugular vein, all the while watching the distorted image of her reflection mimic her movement. Life moved in slow motion.

**_This really is all your fault…_**

Her eyes were glassy as she imperceptibly nodded her head in agreement.

**_He was the Chosen One! The one to bring balance to the Force._**

Padmé digested that sentence like a poison. Her face twisted with shame.

_**You helped destroy him.**_

She steadily raised the shard to her neck and paused.

**_Quickly! _**The voice whispered urgently.

**_Don't let him find out. He will try to stop you. It will only make things worse if he stops you_… **

Padmé was then compelled to act.

She felt oddly detached from her body as she pressed the sharp edge determinedly to her neck. She barely registered the pain of the jagged point entering and cleaving her flesh, or the trickle of blood that rapidly welled up from the wound and snaked a path down her neck, darkening the neckline of her drab gown.

**_Soon you will be free, my dear…_**the sinister voice whispered sympathetically, as if to comfort her.

Padmé began to feel lightheaded, but pressed onward toward her own destruction. The room darkened and it felt as if she were rising above her own body. She looked down at the weak shell she had departed. She felt calm, at peace, and saw a distant vision of a lush green meadow. The sound of rushing water caressed her ears. It was a comforting melody.

_It must be Naboo, _she thought. _I am finally going home. _

She sighed as a slight melancholy washed over her as an image of her husband in his Jedi robes came to her. His head was cocked slightly to the side as he peered at her with sad and inquisitive eyes.

_Goodbye, Anakin._

It was finally over.

**_Padmé, NO!_**


	14. Chapter 14: The Darkness of Despair II

**Chapter 14: The Darkness of Despair, Part II**

**_  
No, Padmé._**

The voice in her head was hauntingly familiar.

_**Do not do this. **_

She opened her eyes. She was no longer in her chamber, but on a snowy mountain impossibly high in the clouds. The sky was a vivid blue and the snow-dusted grass beneath her feet a deep, unnaturally lush green. Amazingly enough, she did not feel the cold as the wind whipped her cloak and hair wildly around her.

_This can't be real. It's impossible._

A tall man stood with Padmé on the mountain top. Although his ruggedly handsome face was stern, his bright blue eyes were compassionate.

It was _him_.

"Master Qui-Gon?" Padmé tentatively spoke his name, disbelieving this vision.

The look he gave her was very grave as he gazed at her. Jedi Master Qui-Gon Jinn was just as she remembered, over thirty standard years ago, dressed in traditional Jedi robes. She could feel intense power emanating from his body. It surrounded her and comforted her. The wind gradually died down as he spoke and all was suddenly calm.

"Padmé, listen to me. _Do not do this_."

Padmé looked down so as not to meet his eyes. She did not want to hear a scolding. But she knew that she deserved it and that one was long overdue.

"You are his only link to his humanity," the Jedi Master paused, letting his words sink into her. She remained silent, her head bowed; she wrung her hands under her cloak.

"Do not give up hope. That is what Anakin did. You must live, and, by your living, you just may be able to change destiny." He spoke slowly, deliberately, and his voice was comforting to her, while his words were not.

Padmé's face twisted with anguish. She shook her head in denial. Tears sprung unbidden to her eyes.

"I can't do this, Master Jinn. I feel torn apart." She paused while she struggled to put her jumbled thoughts into words.

"I still love Anakin…but I hate what he has become. I _hate_ him." Breathless, Padmé turned away from his piercing eyes, unable to bear his judgment.

"Do not give in to your hate. If you give in, all will be lost." He did not chide her, but simply stated a vital fact.

"Everything _is_ lost, Master Jinn." Her voice was wan and far away, and she kept her face averted.

"Padmé, it is not like you to give in to despair." Qui-Gon Jinn was trying to reach her through her heavy armor of grief and despair.

She turned back to face him. "You know all that has happened…how can you still believe in him…in me?"

Once again, Padmé turned away from Master Jinn, unable to face him.

She had expected the Jedi Master to chastise both her and Anakin for going against the Jedi Code. They had fallen in love and acted on it, throwing caution to the wind. Their indiscretion had brought the Darkness upon them all. But Qui-Gon Jinn had a more important reprimand to give her.

"Padmé, listen to me, there is not much time for you to complete your purpose." He looked at her pointedly as she turned back to him, a quizzical look in her face.

"Nature _will_ take its course. Of that, I am certain. Do not speed it along. Not even the most skilled Jedi healer can help you now… It is sadly too late. But I will do what I can for you."

Padmé looked blankly at Master Jinn, not completely grasping his words.

"There is still good in him Padmé, and you know this. You've always known this. Do not allow the Dark Presence to lead you astray. _It_ wants you dead. And by your own hand would as traumatic to Anakin as if he had done it himself. Anakin will truly be destroyed."

"What must I do?"

"Just _live_, Padmé."

"I don't know if I can do this, Master Jinn."

"There is still good in him, Padmé. Never forget." His eyes sparkled at her with unsaid thoughts. The words died in the air.

Jedi Master Qui-Gon Jinn, who had seemed so solid and real in front of her, gradually faded into nothingness before her eyes. She felt a profound sense of loss at his departure and tears burned in her eyes. All was silent.

Padmé remained on the barren mountain, head bowed, feeling truly alone.

x x x x

Vader's Imperial shuttle had just departed from the Super Star Destroyer, the _Devastator_.

He did not actually need to make the trip to the ship in person, but found that it was usually a better motivator to get his orders done. The communications officers were bending over backward to come up with vital information on both Rebel base outposts and the elusive Luke Skywalker. And he didn't even have to squeeze the life out of anyone this time, he mused with some disappointment.

Vader thoughts shifted back to Padmé. He wondered if Padmé had calmed down a bit. Of course, curiosity got the best of him and he yearned to see for himself and decided to gently probe her mind. She was far too strong-willed for him to read her thoughts completely, but he knew that he would at least be able to gauge what and how she was feeling.

He tentatively reached out his consciousness to merge with hers. Wary of being buffeted by her anger, he was immensely relieved to sense that she was at peace. But he was vaguely aware of something different. It felt as if her Force signature had changed in some slight way. It was as if there was another presence with her.

He frowned.

_Impossible,_ he scoffed.

_No one except for Luke knows she is alive, and Luke is nowhere near. It could not have been my Master, because the presence was not dark…or menacing. _

When he once again attempted to sense the presence, it was gone. Vader shook his head, vowing to see her in person immediately after he arrived on board. Perhaps he could ascertain the anomaly in person. He put his shuttle on auto-pilot in order to meditate on it for the remaining part of his trip back to the _Executor_.

x x x x

Padmé slept completely through the night as she had not done since Vader had confirmed her suspicions of Luke's fate. She slept through the follow day, too and finally opened her eyes, feeling strangely peaceful and wrapped in a soft velvet coverlet.

She was not alone in the room.

Sensing her movement, the TeeSee-Fourteen, in hibernation mode near her bed, launched into action. She moved to push herself up from the bed and noticed that her hands were bandaged. There was also a bandage wound lightly about her neck. She traced one bound hand across her neck, feeling no pain.

"Milady, if you will permit me, I will remove your bandages."

Padmé sat mutely as the droid started to unwind the fine gauze first on her hands, then on her neck.

"Oddly enough, though," the droid explained, "Your wounds were closed and mostly healed when I found you. I took the liberty of cleaning off the…blood and applied a bandage to protect the delicate new skin."

Padmé's hand went instinctively to her neck. Her fingers slid across a slightly raised line of scar tissue. The backs of both hands and the palm of her right hand were also crisscrossed with pale scars.

"Those should fade in time," the droid supplied intuitively, in answer to her unspoken question.

"I also cleared away the broken glass from your…accident, Milady."

It did not add that it had replaced the mirror with an indestructible one made of duraglass, for good measure. And scanned the room for any more breakable items to reduce the odds of another 'accident'.

Padmé sat on the bed, wordlessly reflecting on her conversation with Master Qui-Gon Jinn. Trying to make sense of what she should do. She did not notice that she was dressed in a clean gown, and that her hair had been painstakingly washed and combed. Her thoughts turned to present concerns.

"Where is Lord Vader?" It was the first time she had said that name aloud. She spoke the name, surprisingly without any malice.

"He is on another expedition, but is expected to be back by tomorrow evening."

The droid was rolling up the bandages in preparation to destroy the evidence before Vader's return. It had already incinerated the grey dress, as the large bloodstain down the front had been impossible to remove.

Padmé digested that tidbit of knowledge. She might as well pick the droid's memory unit for more information. She needed to know what she was working with.

"Does he know of my…accident?" Her face was the impassive Senator's face that she had perfected.

"No, Milady. Shall I inform him?"

"No," she answered curtly. "Under no circumstances should this ever be discussed."

"As you wish, Milady." The droid nodded reverently in assent and continued to hover near her.

"Is there anything else?" Padmé really wanted to be alone, but she sensed that the droid had more to say.

"Yes, Milady, actually there is. I also took a sample of your blood. I was curious as to how your wounds had healed so quickly and completely…"

"_And_?" She was really starting to feel impatient. She wanted to be alone.

"There were some anomalies in the sample. I would like Two-OneBee to explain."

Padmé's curiosity was now piqued.

_What is going on here?_

The silver-grey medical droid glided into her chamber silently from Vader's quarters and paused in from of her. It spoke without preamble.

"What you have, Milady, is a disturbance on a cellular level. In other words, there is a rapid, unchecked, abnormal cell growth in your body."

Padmé was thunderstruck.

The TeeSee unit spoke up. "We need to know if you want to start nanotherapy for this. We can administer the treatment to you, or get you to a proper facility that can perform the weekly procedures."

Her thoughts were reeling. But something stopped her.

"Wait a minute…you said '_if'..._" The severity of the issue was just dawning on her.

Two-OneBee was ready to supply the answer to her query.

"Unfortunately, your condition has progressed unimpeded for far too long for _any_ treatment, even nanotherapy, to hope for a remission. That is quite out of the question. If caught early, your chance of survival could have been greater. Now, the sessions will only prolong your biological functions…for a period of time. Of course, there are many side effects, such as-"

She didn't want to hear those gruesome details and waved her hand impatiently at the droid.

"So, what you're telling me is that I am terminal, and nano- would only prolong my life…"

"Yes, Milady."

"For how long?"

"I would venture four to six standard months, the last few months of which you would need to be heavily sedated against the pain."

"And without the treatment?"

"Most likely no more than three standard months, at the most. At the least, a few weeks."

Qui-Gon Jinn's words came echoing back to her:

_Nature will take its course. Of that, I am certain. Do not speed it along. Not even the most skilled Jedi healer can help you now. It is sadly too late. But I will do what I can for you. _

Eyes wide, Padmé now knew what the Jedi Master had been alluding to when he had spoken those cryptic words. And it also explained the general malaise she had been feeling and had naively attributed to her coma. She knew what she had to do. Her face hardened as her resolve became strong.

"You must not tell him. I am giving you a direct order. And I am declining any treatment, even if it could be done without him knowing. It would be fruitless, anyway. But not a _word_ to him!"

"As you wish, Milady." Both of the droid units knew she was speaking of Lord Vader. The medical droid exited her chamber, leaving TeeSee with Padmé.

The droid stood in near her awkwardly, awaiting any request that she might have. To the droid, Padmé seemed as if she had forgotten its presence, so, wanting to feel useful, it made an inquiry.

"Will you be requiring anything else, Milady?"

"No…thank you…" She was preoccupied.

The droid left, but returned shortly thereafter with a tray of food. It set the provisions down on a table for her in front of the view port. Her appetite had not been good for a while, and with this latest news, had fled altogether. A shock of yellow in a bowl caught her eye.

"Where did those come from?" Padmé asked, a bit sharply. She was surprised.

"I believe they are native to the planet Na-" the droid began, officiously.

"I know where they come from. How did they get here?" Her temper was short.

"Lord Vader instructed me to bring these to you."

Padmé's finger traced over an especially ripe small globe. She picked up the shuura fruit, and bit into it, not precisely sure if she was pleased or angry at this offering.


	15. Chapter 15: Haven

**Chapter 15: Haven**

Padmé's eyes fluttered open while she lay on her bed one again at the Lake Retreat.

She looked upward at the ceiling, formulating her next move. It felt like a rather warm day and, by the natural light in the room, it seemed as if it were late afternoon. She rose and moved quickly to her wardrobe cabinet, pointedly ignoring Anakin sitting quietly in the shadows.

His eyes did not leave her.

She used the door of the wardrobe for privacy as she quickly shed her clothing and changed into a dark blue silk long tunic and did the ties. She decided against the matching bottom. Grabbing two light blankets from the top of the wardrobe, she slammed the cabinet door, spun on her heel, and darted out through the heavy door to the veranda, leaving it ajar.

Anakin watched with curiosity and amusement as she used the wardrobe door to protect her modesty. But his amusement turned to alarm as she sped toward the veranda. He clearly expected her not to acknowledge him right away, but where in Sith hell was she running off to?

He jumped up to follow her at a discreet distance. Padmé was quickly making her way down the side of the terrace and descending lower by a barely discernable footpath through a thick undergrowth of greenery. By her sure-footedness, it was a path she knew very well. She swept past vines and blossoms as she determinedly made her way to…

_Ah! I know… _

She was going to the place she went when she was troubled and needed solace- to the lake. He did not want to alarm her and made sure that he stayed a bit behind her and she made her way to her favorite spot. Considering the warmth of the day, it was a fantastic idea.

Padmé stopped on the soft green area a few meters away from the pebbled beach, shook out one of the blankets on the grass, and dropped the other blanket in the center. She stood and braided her hair into a single heavy plait, and then she took off toward the shore and waded into the lake until the water was chest high. She dunked herself in the cool water and started swimming.

Anakin stood in the shadow of a large, leafy, vine-entwined tree and watched as Padmé swam away from him. He sorely wished he could join her, but he did not want to break the mood. As it was, he knew Padmé would not welcome his presence. He sighed his frustration. He would have to content himself with watching her until he could think of a way to woo her back.

His face clouded over.

They needed to talk. So much stood between them. It was like they were on opposite sides of a wide chasm with nothing to bridge the gap. She just did not understand him.

_Had she ever? _

He remembered with a painful pang in his chest how she had looked at him when he had told her they would rule the Empire together. On that hellish planet, she'd rejected him. She looked at him as if he were not the man she married. As if he had transformed into some demon in front of her. It had infuriated him then, and still angered him to this day.

But he just did not know how to get past the barriers. This was a delicate matter; she had to be made to understand things…to understand him. And he did not know where to start. And there were things he had done that he did not want her to know about. Things she could never accept. Things that would make her turn from him- completely.

_In time she will understand all I have sacrificed for her._ His jaw hardened.

_I gave up everything for her- even my humanity! She must know that I did the right thing. I know she still loves me- she must!_

His nostrils flared in indignation.

_It cannot be otherwise. _

Now that she was with him, they would have more time to reacquaint themselves. He would take things slowly because her reawakening into such a different would with a physically changed husband could not possibly be easy on her. He sighed and shook his head.

_Thank the Force that we have time on our side. _

He relaxed a bit, even though his thoughts returned to the past. His dreams _had _been prophetic. He knew it. Without him she would have died. It was odd now that he rarely dreamed at all. Of course, he never thought that _he_ was the actual cause of her near demise. Not childbirth, not the baby. His son…they both lived.

_If only I can make her see that I'd done it all for her. And I was right in doing it because she lives. I conquered the will of the Force. _

It made every vile thing he had done worth it. The galaxy would be at peace _and_ she would be by his side. He had lived only half a life when he thought her dead. Things would change.

All he had to do was to destroy his Master and take his place.

x x x x

Padmé turned over in the water and floated face up under the suns rays.

The water was soothing and she allowed herself to be carried away in the current. Floating, she could hear her heartbeat echo in her ears as well as the rhythm of her breathing. Time and all worries were slipping away. She felt a pang of regret that Anakin was not by her side, but she also really could not bear his company right now after she knew what he was going to do.

She knew he was watching her and she hoped he was suffering!

x x x x

The sun was warm on her face and she was growing weary.

She had tried to keep her mind at peace in order not to give in to the panic that hovered almost constantly at the edge of her consciousness. There were so many disturbing truths she had recently learned. She could not give in to despair. Her children needed her.

_He needs me, too._

She felt relaxed and drowsy.

_Was it because the warmth of the day or because this dream would be ending soon?_

Either way, she reluctantly started swimming back towards the shoreline. In the shallow water, she waded back up to the beach to where her blankets lay. She slowly made her way up the beachhead.

Anakin watched as Padmé emerged from the water and walked towards his shadowed hiding place behind her blankets, trying to gauge her emotional state. He gaped at her graceful, insouciant movements. His breath caught in his throat as a wave of hot desire hit his body. His pulse quickened and pounded in his ears. His hands ached to touch her.

_It has been too long…_

Her garment was clinging to her form and he could see everything he wanted, but could not touch. His body responded with a painful quickness, and he was sorely aroused. His eyes feasted on her beauty feverishly and he ground his teeth, groaning in frustration.

A very dark, beastly thought entered his mind as his heart thudded heavily in his chest. His hands curled into fists at his side.

_She's mine; I should take what I want. _

Impetuously he took a step toward her.

_She should not deny me!_

Then reason overtook him. He shook his head in disgust. He knew he would lose her forever.

Padmé reached out to grasp the second folded blanket, sat down, and briefly toweled herself off. In this heat, she would dry quickly and decided to lie down to let the sun finish the job. She felt languid with the sun caressing her form, and she briefly thought about the warmth of Anakin's body against hers.

She quickly pushed that image out of her mind and let herself feel what seemed so real and tangible: the warmth of the sun, the sound of the lake, and the heady scent of the flowers in bloom.

_How much longer do I have to enjoy this?_

Her limbs felt heavy and she knew she was fading fast. A shadow passed over her face and blocked the sun, but she could no longer muster the energy to open her eyes. She heard a deep sigh and knew she was not alone…she had known that all along, but now he was very near.

She sighed deeply and let the darkness take her away.

Anakin stood looking down at Padmé's still form. He wanted to hold her. No matter what, she was _his_. He wanted her to look at him with love and tell him everything would be alright. She wanted her to tell him again that she loved him.

Would this ever happen?

"How long will we stay at an impasse?" he whispered morosely, dropping down and kneeling beside her.

The crushing sense of sadness and loneliness that had been his companions for so long were, once again, surrounding him and dragging him back down into the pit of despair.

x x x x

The lieutenant was nervous and trembling slightly as he approached Darth Vader on the bridge, even though he bore good news.

He had seen several of his superiors mysteriously choked to death due to Vader's displeasure. It was mystifying because the Dark Lord had never laid a finger on them. Who knew what kind of ancient wizardry Darth Vader and the Emperor were involved in? He, for one, never wanted to know. He cautiously approached his Commander's side as Vader stared out of the floor-to-ceiling view port.

"W-we've tracked down a Rebel base on the far moon of Endor, my Lord," the man stuttered in fear.

The frightening mask turned to him. Sweat beaded on his forehead and the Lieutenant's insides churned as the Sith Lord stood there looking at him. He thought he was going to pass out and hoped he did not soil himself in the process. Just as he was going to black out from holding his breath, Vader spoke.

"Good."


	16. Chapter 16: Exodus

**Chapter 16: Exodus**

Vader entered Padmé's chamber virtually noiselessly despite his hulking form.

Nonplussed, she had grown used to his silent and abrupt entries and exits, knowing that it most likely terrified his subordinates. Dressed in a dark lavender silk gown with a paler underskirt, she sat and waited for him to speak as she caught her hair with a pearl-encrusted fastener that matched both her dangling earrings and the heavy choker necklace around her neck. She did not know how he accomplished it, but more gowns and precious jewelry would show up mysteriously in her wardrobe.

She was feeling surprisingly well today and her color was good. Vader was quietly and secretly admiring her uncommon beauty before he brusquely spoke.

"I must supervise the commission of the newly completed Death Star." He paused for effect. "You will join me."

Padmé's lips tightened into a thin line as she stood up and glided silently toward him.

"So…you must oversee the creation that will bring even more fear, destruction, and tyranny to the 'Empire'?" Her voice was sharp and dripping with sarcasm.

"How quaint."

Padmé had not spoken to him in quite a while, so he was taken aback at such a lengthy response. He had almost forgotten the sound of her voice.

Vader remained silent. Padmé glared at him, exasperated at his outward aloofness.

"How long will we be there?" Her tone was sharp with him and cut through him.

"As long as it takes," he ground out the reply, keeping his frustration in check.

"Wha-?" Padmé's question was cut off.

"Prepare yourself. We leave shortly." That order brooked no further dispute. He turned and went through the adjoining doorway to his own chamber, the door sliding immediately shut behind him. TeeSee entered the room with a metal travel case.

Padmé sighed in irritation and searched in her closet for the cloak and veil he had given her when she was transferred to the _Executor_. Luxurious as it was, it was the only cloak she now owned, which was not surprising, since she had few occasions to leave her quarters. The droid packed for her, carefully folding her gowns and adding accessories.

As he could sense when she was ready, Vader entered her chamber. He did not offer her his arm, but gently beckoned the chamber door open to allow her to exit first. Once again, they made their way mutely to the deserted landing bay.

When she approached his ship, a chill ran up her body; Padmé had a strong sense of foreboding about this trip. As she joined Vader in the cockpit and took her seat beside him in his Imperial shuttle, she gritted out softly, "I have a _bad_ feeling about this…"

Darth Vader quickly turned to look at her, and then looked down at the control panel with unseeing eyes.

Those words brought another unwanted memory of Obi-Wan, back when they were still close. A flash of his and Obi-Wan's daring rescue of Palpatine entered his thoughts. The years disappeared. They had been an unstoppable team in the Clone Wars. He'd saved Obi-Wan's life multiple times…How times had changed.

_We were like brothers… He was the father I never had…_

He crushed the sadness and regret welling up inside him and focused instead on his hatred of his old Master.

It comforted him.

x x x x

This time, Padmé, despite her anger at him, did seem interested in flying his ship to the Outer Rim Territory, location of the new space station. He allowed her to do so, with pleasure.

She always was a good pilot and had no difficulty in taking over the controls. A slight smile grew on her face as her initial nervousness passed. It had been a long time since she had piloted a ship and she was enjoying it. Vader allowed himself to bask in her pleased feelings as he watched her. She had actually become a bit more chatty and animated with him, just like she had been so many years ago. He was fairly sure she had finally accepted Fate and that things would now be easier between them going forward.

Vader felt the sudden change of her emotions as a shock of ice down his spine.

Unfortunately, Padmé was not impressed with her first view of the Death Star. In fact, he could feel her disgust as if it were a living, breathing thing. But her flying remained steady and she executed the landing perfectly. He could sense her anger at him had returned and that there would be little conversation going forward. He shook his head, once again exasperated with her stubbornness.

Needless to say, not a soul was there to greet them when they landed. Vader, once again, had made sure of that. He swiftly guided Padmé up through the sterile corridors to her new, temporary quarters which, of course, adjoined his own. As soon as things were back on schedule with the Death Star, they would return to the _Executor. _ He was to contact his Master as soon as he arrived, so he had to take leave of Padmé immediately.

"There are matters I must attend to." With that, he left.

Padmé smiled faintly as she noticed both a handheld holo-unit and data pad sitting on a chair for her. She would do yet more reading and researching any news on her two children.

_And try to figure out a plan._

x x x x

This headache was the strongest yet.

As soon as she thought it was safe to do so, without Anakin's ever-watchful gaze, she would ask the droid to give her something to help the pain. She was not going to be able to keep up her charade without it.

Padmé squinted at the mirror. Her color was still good and she was now eating regularly again. She looked completely healthy to the untrained eye. She grit her teeth and placed her hand heavily against her head as a lightening bolt of pain shot into the right side of her face.

"You are in pain." Vader sounded alarmed.

The curt words from his voice projector made her jump, sending another ice pick of agony into her head. Vader, himself, winced at the sound of his harsh voice; in his own mind, he had spoken in close to a whisper. Consumed by her pain, she had not heard the unique and chilling sound of the breathing that usually heralded his presence.

Extremely irritable with the agony, she had wanted to snap a reply, but instead composed herself. She had to make her headache seem completely harmless. "It's just eye strain from staring at the data pads so long, Anakin. It will pass."

Vader continued to stare at her, as if trying to read her thoughts.

He noted that he did not feel the usual discomfort at her calling him 'Anakin'. But he did observe that she had never, ever once called him by his proper name: _Vader_. He could sense nothing out of the ordinary with her and had no idea that some of his telepathy with her had dulled and warped after his re-birth as the heavily mechanized Sith Lord Darth Vader.

Padmé was very guarded as she looked at him nonchalantly, hand covering her eye. She was suddenly feeling weak and hoped that Anakin would help her to her bed, but she knew that he would not touch her. In all the time they had been together since her awakening, he had never laid a hand on her- physically, that is. That saddened her. She made her own way gingerly to her bed and sat down.

Vader had wanted to comfort Padmé or at least help her to her bed, especially as he watched her stooped gait. But he could never have such physical contact with her now that he had changed. His self-revulsion and helplessness twisted like a knife in his gut. He once again concentrated on his anger at Obi-Wan.

_This is his fault. He did this to me._

Even after all this time, Vader could not allow himself to think that his own actions had brought his suffering on himself. Unfortunately, some things did not change so quickly.

Vader's thoughts turned back to his wife.

"If you wish, my droid can give you something for the pain." He was not sure that stubborn Padmé would accept assistance.

"I think I will take you up on the offer," she said with a slight smile that looked more like a grimace.

_I'm not an idiot_, she added with a sigh.

Immediately, the medical droid Two-OneBee entered the chamber at Vader's telepathic command. It carried a heavy metal case that it set on the bed beside her. Once opened, one could see all of the medical implements and components. Padmé briefly wondered if Anakin still felt the pain of his old injuries.

"I've got eyestrain…" she offered the weak lie up, lamely, as Two-OneBee efficiently and mutely prepared a syringe with the solution and added a long, thin needle to it.

"This may make you drowsy," the droid stated, as the needle slid with a slight burning sensation into a vein in her arm. It would have been much more efficient to give the dosage in a major vein in her neck, but the droid did not want to risk the chance of Vader noting the fading scars from Padmé's 'accident'. Vader watched the proceedings with apprehension. He could not bear the thought that Padmé was even in the slightest amount of pain.

Padmé's body relaxed as the pain medication flowed warmly through her veins. She blinked and tried to focus her eyes as she felt the twilight sleep overtake her. The medical droid exited the room and left them alone. Making a slight gesture with his hand, Vader dimmed the lights so that she would not be disturbed by the ship's day light cycle while resting. The room was left in total darkness, but with his vision enhancement receptors, Vader had no trouble viewing her.

In truth, Vader could have watched Padmé's sleeping form all day and night, but he rose in preparation of the holo he was to have with his Master in the next standard hour. As he approached the door, he heard her speak in a low, slurred murmur. At the sound of her voice, he whirled around, his cape flaring out behind him.

"Anakin, I'm cold, will you bring me a blanket?" Her voice was slightly breathless.

Vader returned to her side and stared down at her, noting the slight frown on her face.

He stood transfixed at her bedside until she groaned, "So _cold_…" She shuddered.

That goaded him into action.

He moved to cover her with a soft velvet throw and then she was silent once again. Kneeling at her side, he paused for a moment in the dark because he knew she could not see him even if she had been lucid. Despite his forbidding, macabre presence, he wanted to be near her.

Padmé's left hand moved quickly and unerringly out towards him and caressed his right upper arm, which was still of flesh under the suit and not metal. She then grasped him firmly and was steadily pulling him down toward her. Vader's mask was only inches away from her face, with the distance closing fast..

He was horrified that she might touch the cold, hard surface. In her current state, it might send her into shock. He could imagine her screaming at him in terror. And, once again, devastatingly point out to him the barrier between them; how utterly separate they were as beings. And how truly alone he was, even by her side.

"Ani, I'm tired, come to bed…_Hold me_…" she sighed, petulantly, bringing him even closer to her.

Vader was reeling with shock and terror. He violently pulled away from her touch and lurched from her side, almost stumbling on his cybernetic legs. He could not believe she had done such a thing!

Breathing heavily, he looked down at her innocent, sleeping form. Her left arm was dangling awkwardly over the side of the bed.

_She has no idea! If she were conscious, she would never-_

Vader was shaking as he stumbled blindly to his own chamber.

He locked the door between them.


	17. Chapter 17: Culpability

**Chapter 17:** **Culpability**

Padmé opened her eyes while she lay on the shore of the lake.

She looked up at the deep blue sky and sighed. She was feeling anxious and she wanted to get back into the lake. It was a selfish thought, but she had so few pleasures these days. Real or not, this _felt_ real, and so she would enjoy it as much as she could.

Her clothing was completely dry and she got to her feet and looked at the placid beauty of the lake. In the distance, she saw the small island that she and Anakin had swam to, many years ago, when Anakin was her Padawan protector. They had been so in love.

_So long ago… _she thought with melancholy.

_So much lost time._ Memories flooded her consciousness.

She was wrestling with her own daemons. Unwanted thoughts sprung into her mind.

_How could I still love the man who is determined to destroy our son?_ _The man who caused the end of the Republic, the end of democracy, and everything I believed in?_

_He hunted the Jedi to extinction. How could I be so…depraved?_

_I am no better than Anakin- selfish in my own way._

Sometimes she wished she had never awakened from the coma.

_To sleep in oblivion until death. Guilt-free. _

_But I won't have long to wait, will I?_

She despised herself for her weakness where Anakin was concerned.

_I should fight him to the death. _

_I should kill him._

_He would probably let me do it, too. _She thought, wickedly.

_If not, I should die trying. If only to atone for my sins_.

_Our sins._

Padmé despised herself because she knew that, even with all the vile deeds Anakin had done, she could not hate him. She loved him and it was tearing her apart. In her mind, this really was her fault. She had brought down their world. Trembling with anguish, she sought to calm herself, angrily wiping away her tears.

"Gods, why does love make one do the strangest things?" She whispered to herself in misery.

So much of their lives together had been a mistake, and she could not help feeling guilty over it. Anakin may not have had the emotional maturity to contain his feelings for her, but _she_ should have known better, been the rational one. A sheltered Jedi, he had been so naïve. She was the worldly one, so skilled in the political arena, yet she had made such a fatal error.

How much of this horror could have been averted if only she had not given in? She had tried to resist, but had not tried hard enough. She could have spurned his love they could have parted forever…things would have been so different. He would have remained a hero of the Republic and she…well, would probably have never married. Just remained married to her career.

Signing, she admitted it to herself: Anakin had been the only man she had ever loved. The only man she would ever love. And even with all of this death and destruction surrounding them, she could not regret loving Anakin and being loved by him in return.

"If he is damned, then I am damned, too," she whispered hotly and willed the tears not to fall.

She turned her head to look over her shoulder and called out to the thick, leafy, blossom-laden vine she knew Anakin was hiding behind.

"You're welcome to join me," she stated evenly. She quickly dashed towards the water.

x x x x

Anakin was stunned into inaction.

He was certainly not expecting (just _hoping_!) an invitation to join her. He had watched her back as she stood so still, wondering what was going through her mind. He'd never know unless she revealed her thoughts, as she was too strong minded for him to read them. It was better that way, anyway. Some things he just didn't want to know, at this point. Perhaps she would share that moment with him…

But he was not going to wait for her to offer again. He slowly emerged from his hiding place and pulled off his tunic. His muscular form was as it was in his Jedi days. He would keep his chausses on for modesty's sake, though. He knew Padmé was still angry with him and did not want to presume that any intimacy was forthcoming.

Padmé was already swimming away from the shore as he approached and waded in. The water felt…._glorious_... he thought with wonder. He had never considered coming to this place in the. Alone as he was, it would have been too unbearable. He dunked himself fully in the water and allowed it to caress him. He did love water. Not as much as he loved Padmé, he thought with a silent chuckle, but it was very gratifying to be surrounded by the things that pleased him the most.

_Such a thing had not happened since-_ he purged that thought from his mind.

Anakin was content to just be in her presence, even if it was only in their dreams. This was as much as he could hope for at this point. Darth Vader's mask brought with it memories of grave and dark deeds. A chasm of regret and misery. And after certain recent revelations, this was as much as he could expect.

He floated on his back letting the sun stroke his face. He was peaceful. Her presence was truly soothing to his scarred soul. He let the water cradle him. It was no great secret why he chose Naboo as the location of their meetings. Not only was it a lush, beautiful planet, but it was also the site of the beginning of their romance. A gentle smile curled his lips.

He sputtered and came up for air.

Padmé, that little Nubian imp had dunked him!

He was so lulled and relaxed that he had not noticed that she had grabbed his ankles and raised them far above his head, effectively immersing him as easy as pie.

He heard her tinkling laughter float on the air as he tried to catch his breath.

_At my expense_, he thought, and growled with annoyance, as she swam quickly away from him.

Well, he was not going to let her get away with that! He quickly swam towards her and lunged to grab her, only to grasp water.

_Quick little minx!_

He feinted towards her right and she dodged him to her left and ended up in the prison of his strong arms. He pasted a stern look on his face, despite her laughter. As she moved her arms up around his neck, he tried to keep a straight face.

It was the look in her eye got his attention. She gently pulled his face down to hers, lips just inches away from his.

Time stood still for Anakin.

Could this be the _other_ invitation he was secretly hoping for? He could hear his heartbeat pounding in his head. He leaned down towards her for a kiss…and got dunked again.

Not only did she dunk him again but also she pushed off his chest with her foot for good measure to get a good start back to shore, increasing the distance between them. She was now laughing wildly and totally missed the look of chagrin on his face. He took off quickly after her, once again closing the distance between them.

Padmé tore up the beach toward the blanket with Anakin in hot pursuit. She was not going to get away with this! He'd fully planned to take her struggling back to dunk her in the lake.

_It's only fair! _

His hand reached to spin her around by the shoulder and she ducked and tripped him with her foot. Anakin's heavy body fell on top of hers, but he softened the fall with his arms- no use in crushing her.

She was still laughing up at his irritated face and flailing her limbs when he grabbed her arms and pinned them above her head. Padmé felt she was going to expire of laughter and Anakin, try as he might, could not keep a straight face. As she struggled to push him off of her, he had settled easily between her thighs and used his weight to pin her down.

Laughing, Anakin was fully prepared to pick her up, toss her over his shoulder, and take her back down to the water for her punishment when his breath caught as suddenly noticed their position. His pulse started racing and body was very quick to react. Padmé instantly became quiet and still, locking gazes as she felt his burgeoning need pressed up against her. She felt a hot surge of desire race through her loins.

They looked into each others' eyes for what felt like an eternity. Anakin released her arms and held himself up on his elbows, not breaking their eye contact. Padmé's arms went around his neck as Anakin's face descended to hers. They felt electricity as their lips met for a deep kiss, their tongues entwining. They were both panting when Anakin broke the kiss to look at Padmé. She returned his hot gaze.

Anakin moved to roll onto his right side off of Padmé. His arms guided her to lay nestled against his chest as their breathing became calmer. Anakin smoothed the wet tendrils of hair out of her face, wanting only to hold Padmé and savor this moment.

_No pressure..._ _Really,_ _I want nothing more than to be near her._

He caressed her damp hair and Padmé's arms tightened around him, sighing contentedly. They listened to the sound of the lake lapping at the shoreline as the sun dried their bodies.

Anakin looked down at her intently. He was weighing his words.

"Padmé…do you think that you can ever…forgive me?"

She was stunned that he would mention it, especially _now_. Regardless, she would have to be completely honest with him about it, in any case.

"I don't know, Anakin…"

He was sorely disheartened at her reply, but felt a tiny tendril of hope grow in him when she gave him a slight hug and her hand began to gently explore his body.

Padmé began to caress Anakin's chest. His breath became quicker. Actually, he was finding it rather difficult to breathe. She moved her body over his and looked down at him. He had a very serious, yet curious look on his face. Padmé lowered her lips to his as her hand continued caressing him. Anakin's body tensed as her hand swept over the defined muscles of his abdomen. Her tongue darted into his mouth and he groaned out loud in pleasure as her hand swept even lower over his body.

He didn't need her to wait to give him a second invitation.

Anakin, with immense pleasure, took over from there.

They used the rest of the time very wisely and quite agreeably.

x x x x

Padmé and Anakin lay together in the warm afterglow of their lovemaking.

The remains of their clothing lay in a haphazard pile. His hand caressed her back as they lay wrapped in the soft blanket. He wished time would stand still for them.

"How much time do we have?" Padmé murmured against his neck. She sounded a bit sad to him.

Anakin's breathing paused a moment and he forced a lightness into his voice.

"Well, you've been staying 'awake' with me much longer each time we meet like this…so I'm hoping for at least half a standard hour more…"

"No, Anakin, that's not what I meant…" She gave him a slight squeeze.

"I know..." His reply was grim and his muscled arm involuntarily tightened around her.

Anxiety gnawed at him and wanted the conversation to end.

_Why did she have to bring this up now?_

Anakin was irritated with Padmé for bringing it up _now_. Why did she have to cast a cloud over their rare blissful time together? He knew that events would soon take place and there would be little or no time for their idylls.

He had foreseen it.

_It was their Destiny…_

"When do you thing it will happen?" she persisted.

"Soon," he answered gruffly.

They lay in silence, each in their own thoughts.


	18. Chapter 18: Ambush

**Chapter 18: Ambush**

It was early evening when Vader finally came to visit her.

Padmé had taken particular care with her coif and wardrobe, hoping to put him in a relaxed mood, and then hone in for her attack. Now was time to get this all out in the open.

Time was running out.

She had dressed in the deep red velvet gown that she knew he especially liked. It had a low, scooped neckline, a full skirt, and tight sleeves that ended in a flared bell shape below her elbow. Tiny rubies and seed pearls were embroidered onto the bodice, the hem, and the edge of the sleeves. A simple, though costly design of creamy baroque pearl earrings hung from her ears.

The last time she had worn this sumptuous evening dress, she could feel his quiet admiration like a gentle caress. She had pinned her silver-dusted mahogany hair into an elaborate, but tasteful bejeweled style and left some curls to hang artlessly down her back. The scars on her neck had seemed to fade completely, so she left her neck bare instead of wearing the matching heavy pearl choker.

With a pang of sadness, she desperately wished that she still had the Japor snippet pendant that a very young Anakin had carved for her those many years ago. He'd carved it for her so that she'd have something to remember him by, as if she could have ever forgotten him. She smiled a secret smile that Vader had not missed; indeed, he wondered what caused the smile.

She had always worn the ivory pendant, kept it close to her, and it had been nowhere to be found when she woke in the hospital. Padmé had grieved bitterly over it once she realized it was not in her personal effects in the medical center's vault, since it had been her last tangible memory of her beloved Anakin. Somehow, it must have gotten lost. He had told her it was a good luck amulet; she could use that luck _now_.

Vader stood quietly in front of the large port window, seemingly looking out at the stars.

In reality, he was watching her reflection closely. Her hips swaying gently, she was gracefully pacing the room. He was waiting for Padmé to make the first move in this game. Or, rather, the second move. Her first move, _a choice one_, he might add, was to look absolutely delectable in that gown. It was quite distracting. He noticed the subtle swell of her breasts above the neckline. It had almost made him forget that determined look in her eye.

Almost.

She sighed. It was time.

"And what of Luke?"

_I had expected nothing less than a direct assault,_ he mused.

It was time to cut to the chase.

"The Emperor wants him dead, Padmé. Luke is a threat to the Empire." He spoke to her reflection in the glass.

"That _threat_ is also your _son_. Or have you forgotten that?" She flushed red with anger.

"No, I have not." Vader had turned around to face her across the room. His retort was cold and unsympathetic, made even harsher by his voice projector. How long would it take for her to see reason?

"I did what I could. I suggested to my Master that Luke could be persuaded to turn to the Dark Side of the Force and serve the Emperor, too."

He seemed proud of his proclamation, and more than just a little defensive, but inside he was apprehensive of her reaction. He didn't think she would warm to the idea.

Padmé's mouth dropped open in abject horror. Never a violent person, at that precise moment, if she could have, she would have wrapped her hands around Anakin's neck and squeezed until his head fell off.

She suddenly felt lightheaded and faint.

"It was the only way to save Luke, Padmé. It was the only thing I could do," he quickly explained as he had begun to pace the length of the room, gesturing gracefully with his right hand. That gloved hand curled into a fist as he turned abruptly back to her, triumphant, ebullient.

"We will rule the galaxy as father and son."

He paused holding his hand out to her, "No. _As a family_."

Padmé was disgusted and recoiled from him.

"I don't want to rule the galaxy, Anakin. I never did. You _know_ that." Once again, she had rejected his offer. "It goes against all my principles and beliefs!"

Sorely frustrated, Vader was outraged that Padmé had not finally come around to his point of view. The passing years had not made her any more amenable. Why could she not see reason? The anger radiated off of him; she could feel it. But she was not in the least cowed and approached him.

"What will you do if Luke does not want to rule? If he doesn't turn to the Dark Side? Will you kill him, then?"

Vader, at first, gave no answer. He was weighing his reply. He then turned from her because her dark eyes bored twin holes into him. After a meaningful pause, he spoke.

"You do not understand, Padmé. _There is no choice_."

"No, Anakin, _you_ do not understand," she quickly retorted. "There is _always_ a choice."

"I did what I could Padmé."

"You cut off his arm!" She snapped back. She would never forget Luke's feverish and agonized expression. "Luke could very well have died then and there!"

"It was…necessary." The words sounded so..._final_.

He took a breath, and then continued his explanation.

"I did not ever intend to kill him, Padmé. It is the only way to disarm a Jedi. They are _relentless_. If I had not done so, Luke might have killed _me_."

Vader looked at her pointedly. "Would you rather have had Luke kill me?"

Anxiety washed over her and her stomach lurched, but Padmé remained silent under his perusal. The sound of his breathing apparatus provided the only sound in the room. It echoed in her ears and frayed her already raw nerves.

In truth, she was deeply mortified because she was torn; she could not come up with a definitive answer either way. Her face flooded red with shame as she stood there, trembling under his cold regard.

Vader watched her intently.

To him, the silence spoke louder than any words ever could. The sinking feeling in his gut confirmed her silent reply. He turned and furiously exited her chamber, stalking down the corridor of the Death Star. He was now in a most foul mood and woe to anyone who crossed his path. Anyone who dared to even slightly displease him would die today.

At his departure, Padmé collapsed onto the closest chair available with a groan.

_It's getting worse,_ she thought, dejectedly. She really did not know how much longer she could keep up this charade. She could feel that she didn't have much time left.

TeeSee-Fourteen and the Two-OneBee medical droid came almost immediately into her chamber to tend to her, having sensed Vader's departure. She had given them orders to approach her about her condition only when their master was absent. They administered the precise dosage to reduce her pain, but keep her as lucid as possible. She could not let Anakin know that she was now taking the heavy painkillers each day. That would be difficult to explain away.

_Should I tell him?_

Padmé struggled with that dilemma every day. She was deathly afraid of his reaction to the news.

Years ago, Anakin's dreams of her death in childbirth had brought about the birth of Darth Vader, the end of the Republic, and the destruction of the Jedi Order. She could not risk telling him now. But as he had no idea she was now actually dying, she would do her best to make sure he did not find out until the bitter end. She needed to convince him to let Luke go…and turn away from the Dark Side…but it was so difficult to talk to him!

_I need more time with him._

The fact that Anakin had absolutely no idea of her present condition solidified the belief in her mind that Palpatine had completely used the fear of her dying to manipulate him into turning to the Dark Side. She had agonized over this during the many long hours she was alone. She was now certain of it.

With a current of apprehension running through her, Padmé wondered if Anakin would ever sense her illness or if he could find it out by reading her thoughts. She vowed to block her thoughts on the subject whenever he was near. Perhaps his own trauma years ago had dulled some of his preternatural senses?

The medication flowing through her veins relaxed her and she focused on Anakin's injuries, instead of her own mortality. She really wondered what he looked like under that mask and suit. The images he had inserted into her mind of his suffering at the hand of Obi-Wan had given her some idea. She knew all his limbs were now artificial because Obi-Wan had sliced them off Anakin's body. She cringed at the memory of his agony.

How Anakin had tried, with his sole remaining limb, an artificial limb, to pull himself up the steep, rocky uneven bank and keep himself out of the flowing lava. But it was to no avail; gravity had won out because he slid into the molten river and the flames consumed him. She would never forget the sound of his screams. Did he live with that memory daily? Did it fill his dreams when he slept?

She wiped away a stray tear.

It was a wonder that he was still alive. Anyone else would have surely died. She could not imagine the rehabilitation and treatment of such grave wounds. Even with advanced medical technology, infection and shock often killed patients.

And what did he look like? He had made no attempt to let her see his true face, instead hiding behind that mask. She knew that he could remove the mask and helmet; she had walked in on him once when the droid was sealing his head back into the two hard black cranial pieces. She had seen a glimpse of a pale, scarred head before her view was blocked. Neither Anakin nor the droid had noticed her, and she had backed out of his chamber silently and not approached the door again. It was obvious he was not yet comfortable with her.

_Would he ever be?_

There were some things she did know. All his limbs were now artificial. She knew that he was completely bald, and that there was a deep, improperly healed scar on his head, but that was the extent of what she knew. Was his face scarred into a permanent grimace? Or had the lava burned his face smooth and devoid of any features? She didn't care what he looked like. Why did he hide from her? Did he think she would hate him because of how he looked?

_That would be absurd, because I really have many other better reasons to hate him. _

Her thoughts swung back to her own condition. She was feeling just a bit groggy, but it would pass shortly.

Padmé admitted to herself that she did not fully trust him, either.

She could never reveal her condition to him; if he did what he had done because of a damned nightmare, what would happen if he knew she was really dying? And especially now-now that he knew of Luke's existence. Would he try to convince Luke to join him to save her life? She shuddered in repulsion. She would not have her children used as pawns by the Empire.

She had to do something- anything- to save her children before she died.

_And to save Anakin, too._


	19. Chapter 19: Eclipse

**Chapter 19: Eclipse **

It was early afternoon of the next day cycle when he came to see her again.

Padmé stood so motionless looking out the view port that he'd assumed that she thought she was still alone in the room.

"He's dead, isn't he?"

Startled, Vader waited for her further explanation before answering. Unfortunately, he had killed many, many people, but he had a sinking suspicion of to whom she was referring.

"Obi-Wan." She turned to face him.

"Did you kill him?" Her face was studiously blank as she awaited reply.

_Of course. I knew it!_

"Yes." He hoped that was enough information for her, but somehow knew that it wasn't. She could be relentless, sometimes.

"How?" She prodded him. Vader did not want to talk about it.

"How did he die? Did you kill him right after you…woke up? Did you get your revenge immediately?"

"No, it happened only very recently."

As she heard his clipped tones, Padmé felt a profound sadness. She was close to tears. Perhaps she might have had a chance to see her old friend.

"I killed him when challenged me to a duel aboard the first Death Star."

His voice became distant as he mused over the recent past. He purposely left out the important fact that Obi-Wan had vanished in front of him and had become one with the Force. It angered him that his old Master succeeded in snatching victory from him, once again.

_A final time._

"I did not realize until later that he had used himself as a distraction so that Luke and the Princess Leia Organa could escape." He shook his head in disgust. His old Master had outwitted him. He should have known Obi-Wan would do something like that. Sacrifice himself.

Padmé felt her heart tighten at the mention of the name.

"Princess Leia..?" She tried to say the name as casually as she could. Maybe Anakin would offer up more information, since he seemed more so in the mood to talk.

"Yes. I intercepted her diplomatic Alderaani ship transmitting classified information to the Rebels."

_Bail!_

Her heart raced, but she tried to calm herself. She could not let him know. She hoped he still could not read her mind. Vader sensed something was not right with Padmé, but could not pinpoint the exact cause. Although he had grown ever stronger in the Force, her thoughts were still greatly hidden from him.

"I can sense your pulse racing," he stated tersely. "Are you _yet_ thinking of Obi-Wan?"

Padmé's mouth dropped open with shock. Then a blaze of fury coursed through her.

"How _dare_ you? After all this time!"

Heat flooded her face. She remembered the tightness in her throat when he had Force choked her on Mustafar. She wanted to rage at him for his single-minded idiocy, but knew that calm words would cut more deeply.

"I have only loved y- my husband," she corrected haltingly. At this precise moment, she thought of him as purely Darth Vader, and could not bring herself to admit to him, or even to herself that she still loved him.

"_Never_ anyone else." Her eyes blazed at him for a moment. Slowly, her harsh gaze softened as she remembered their old friend.

"Obi-Wan was like a brother to me," she reflected, despondently. "And I shall never see him again." That phrase twisted like a knife in Vader's heart. Tears had gathered in her eyes. She took a deep breath, and began to slowly move around the perimeter of the room as Vader watched her.

"He knew about us, Anakin. He guessed it when I refused to tell him where you were." She took a breath. _ "_Despite what you think, I never told him anything. I didn't have to; it was as plain as day to him at that moment, the last time I spoke to Obi-Wan, that you and I were together. That I was carrying your child."

Her face clouded with distress as she turned to him. "He was going to kill you. I was sure of it. I couldn't let that happen! He apologized to me, Anakin. He_ apologized... _He was so sad…" She paused, her thoughts taking another turn.

"I knew he would have helped us if we had only trusted in him. But you didn't trust him. You didn't even trust _me_." Her face twisted in anguish as she looked sharply up at him.

"Padmé…"

"No! Let me finish! I know what you _thought_, Anakin. It hurt me then and wounds me to this day! You thought that I had betrayed you to Obi-Wan. But you were wrong! So very wrong!" She was righteous in her indignation.

"You put your trust in the wrong person- Palpatine-" she spat out the word like a curse, "And he is the _only_ one who betrayed you! Not I, not Obi-Wan, not the Jedi Order!"

She paused, looking at him keenly.

"I was never in any danger, Anakin," she avowed softly. "Only from you; only from

him-" She was stopped short.

"Padmé-"

"Listen to me, Anakin-"

"No, Padmé, _you_ listen to _me_! Do you think I do not know this?"

Hot, molten rage flowed through him. He was barely keeping it under reign.

"You must think me a fool. You have always thought me a fool compared to you, haven't you?" Resentment surged in him. His old insecurity reared its' ugly head.

"_Never_, Anakin-" she shook her head vehemently in denial.

"I already know all of this, Padmé. And more. Much, _much_ more," he hissed. "But I can not change any of it. I started down my path, years ago…once I cut off Master Windu's saber arm. Palpatine was then able to attack him with Sith lightning. He most likely died from the fall from Palpatine's window, but it was my fault. _Master Windu died because of me_."

Her eyes were, at once, appalled and distressed at his admission.

"But I truly sealed my fate when I killed my first youngling." His eyes narrowed behind the mask at the painful memory. He felt as if he had just done the vile deed. Eyes haunted and glassy, Padmé stood transfixed, as if hypnotized.

"There was no way I could go back after that." He paced the room like a caged beast. "I had to destroy all the Jedi, including Anakin Skywalker. I had past the point of no return, Padmé. All I had was you and Palpatine."

Vader paused, his voice lowering into a tortured whisper.

"Then I lost you…I had nothing to live for…"

His voice changed in tone. "…but the Emperor convinced me that I could bring peace to the galaxy. End the wars. I could finally find some purpose, something to justify my miserable existence…" A virtuous and admirable ambition. He held his head high.

He sighed through his mask.

"And, as the years went by, the desire to destroy myself had slowly diminished."

Incredulous, Padmé was taken aback at that disclosure. She would never have thought him to even consider such a thing.

His voice grew hard. He turned from her. This was the most painful confession for him to make.

"I know the truth, Padmé: once again…I am a _slave_! First on Tatooine, then to the Jedi, and now to the Emperor." He turned back to her, and the light gleamed eerily off his helmet.

"But now, Padmé, _this_ slave is the second most powerful man in the universe!"

Padmé sat down on her bed and sobbed openly.

The tears welled up in her eyes and spilled down her face as she let loose all her coiled grief at his words. It felt as if her heart was breaking again. The cries were muffled as she placed her hands over her eyes and mouth.

Vader could not bear any more of her tears; he had to get away from her. He turned to hastily exit her chamber.

She stood up at once and took a step towards him. "Please don't leave," she said, thickly. "I don't want to be alone anymore."

He swung around to face her once again, to face the dark eyes that were beseeching him; he saw no condemnation there. Padmé sat back down on the bed. Then she lay down. She was feeling weak.

Vader was floored at her request. Something fluttered in his chest.

_Perhaps, over time, she could grow to love me again, as I am now._

Hope warmed him. He had no idea that time was not on their side.

He slowly nodded his head in acknowledgment of her earnest appeal and sat down quietly in the chair nearest her bed.

"Come closer, please," she whispered. He acquiesced immediately, sliding his chair nearer to her.

They sat together in the darkening room in a companionable silence.

x x x x

It had been so long since she had spoken that Vader wondered if Padmé had actually fallen asleep.

He would stay anyway, regardless, as long as he could. He hoped his Master would not want yet another briefing on the progress of the space station, because that would be the only reason for him to leave Padmé at this point. The evening cycle of the space station had dimmed the lights in the chamber and a shadow had fallen over Padmé's face.

For a brief moment, a chill passed over him because she looked as still as death. He shook his head at the thought and turned his mind away from the unpleasantness and toward the path of mediation. She was safe with him. She would never leave him again. Calm washed over him.

"Will you let me see you without your mask?" Her voice was soft and even, interrupting his meditative state.

Vader was taken aback and instantly furious.

Items on the table started to tremble with his burgeoning rage. He needed to control himself or he would begin to shatter all the breakable items in the room.

_Did she want to taunt him?_

He rose stiffly from his seat, and stood in front of the view port, looking out through troubled and unseeing eyes, lost in his own musings.

_Could she be so cruel?_

"Anakin, I don't care what you look like. I just want to see your eyes for once…"

_Liar!_

Padmé rose from the bed and tentatively moved toward his forbidding presence. Gaining courage, she silently glided to his right hand side and placed her hand on his upper right arm, gently squeezing the flesh underneath his cape and below the multi-ply insulated black suit. It was the exact same place that she had caressed him before.

Vader remained stock still.

He was both stunned and pleased at her touch.

Then, the grossly distorted imagined vision of her reaction to his true form came to his mind. If she were to see him without his mask and suit- the cybernetic limbs joined to the twisted, scarred flesh …he vividly painted her reaction: the revulsion, the hatred, the rejection.

Suddenly, Vader was consumed with anger and self-loathing.

Padmé, eyes wide, felt an odd sense of vertigo shift her. She felt herself being pushed away from him, her feet sliding across the floor away from him as he gently, but firmly rebuffed her. He was now very much determined to leave.

"Why do you do this, Anakin?" She whispered to him in a low tortured voice, feeling like a discarded thing.

"Do not try to sway me, woman!"

He had virtually barked that command at her, causing her to flinch away further from him. Her instinctive reaction to his loud voice further proved to him that he knew how she really felt about him, despite her honeyed caress.

_She despises me._

Vader had misguidedly assumed she had touched him in the hopes of seducing him and changing Luke's fate. He had thought she was speaking of Luke, when, in fact, she was referring to him pushing her away from him- both physically and emotionally.

"What do you mean-?" She was now most thoroughly confused. Vader thought her a great actress, her wide eyes looked almost sincerely bewildered.

"No more arguments, Padmé." He ground out forcefully as he approached her.

"The course of Destiny can not be changed." His body menacingly loomed over her and he rudely pointed his finger at her.

"Do not try my patience any longer."

Something feral and wild was loosed in Padmé at his accusation.

"What are you going to do- choke me again?" She hissed the words at him through gritted teeth. She was livid.

Vader was utterly dumbstruck at her suggestion.

_How could you think that I would-_

He would never, ever in a million light years even think of doing that to her again, no matter how enraged he was by her. And he was quite enraged with her at this very moment. Astonished, he noticed that her teeth were bared and she snarled at him.

"This time, make sure you_ finish it_!"

Vader was utterly appalled.

He fled her room for good.


	20. Chapter 20: The Eternal Light, Part I

**Chapter 20: The Eternal Light, Part I**

Padmé looked out of the large view port at the endless darkness.

It was as if the stars did not exist to give off any light, just to taunt the lonely. She felt a coldness move up her body and she clutched her dark grey cloak tighter about her slight figure. Warmth and light were too far away in a place like this.

Anakin had not come to visit her today.

He had not visited her for several days, leaving her in solitude and despair. At her brutal words, he had fled her presence. Her only outside contact were the droids, and they offered her no information whatsoever, only medication to kill the pain, which today she had refused.

Oddly enough, this day she was without pain. But she was not that surprised. She was feeling unnaturally well. It was as if her body was in one final full bloom before the flower died. She knew that her time was now very short. It was a parting gift from her body; a last flood of endorphins coursing through her to make the passing easier.

Tears welled up in her eyes and one trailed down her cheek. She barely noticed it.

_Perhaps I will die without ever seeing him again. _

_Alone._

x x x x

Unbeknownst to Padmé, the Emperor was now on the Death Star.

Palpatine wanted to discuss the current lack of progress of the space station. Darth Vader had vowed that he would get them back on schedule and he was, as usual, successful.

Even if he had actually wanted to see her, Vader would still need stay as far away as possible from Padmé while the Emperor was on the nearly functional space station. As it was, he was glad to have to give her no explanation for his absence. She could make her own assumptions. He was still vexed with her. She had wounded him to the core. He cloaked his thoughts as he approached the Emperor.

Darth Vader formally greeted his Master on bended knee. The Emperor, pleased with Vader's show of respect, replied in his gravelly voice: "Rise my friend."

They walked together past hundreds of silent Imperial Stormtroopers as Vader gave the Emperor precisely the information the old despot wanted to hear. "The Death Star will be completed on schedule, my Master."

"You've done well, Lord Vader," he praised. Vader felt the pride swell in his chest. It still did not take away the sting of Padmé's words.

Then the wicked beast paused and cocked his head to scrutinize Vader with his cold, beady eyes.

"…And now I sense you wish to continue your search for young Skywalker."

"Yes, my Master." Vader cursed himself for the slip; he had tried to keep that a secret wish.

"Patience, my friend. In time he will seek _you _out, and when he does, you must bring him before me. He has grown strong. Only _together_ can we turn him to the Dark Side of the Force. "

"As you wish," the Sith apprentice responded.

"Everything is proceeding as I have foreseen."

"He will come to me?" Vader kept his swirling emotions in check.

"I have foreseen it. His compassion for you will be his undoing. He will come to you and then you will bring him before me," the Emperor ordered.

"As you wish," came the deferential reply.

"We must be careful," the Emperor's reedy voice ground out. "He can destroy us!" Those words hissed from his twisted mouth.

"He will join us or die, my Master."

That was exactly the reply the Emperor desired and expected. He was now pleased. There was no doubt in his mind where Vader's loyalties were. At the thought of Luke Skywalker in his possession, his grin was one of pure evil. The hood left his repugnant gnarled face in shadow, but the billowing sleeves of the robe did nothing to hide the hideous clawed hands. Yes, the young Jedi would be in his possession soon.

x x x x

Her heart pounding in her chest, Padmé looked up from her data pad she clutched in her hands.

It was a mother's instinct that whispered to her that Luke was near. And she was extremely uneasy.

She also felt a growing terror that something truly horrible was going to happen and she was virtually powerless to change it. She had absolutely no idea that Luke had just surrendered himself to the Empire voluntarily. Or what lengths Luke would go through to save his father.

She began to restlessly pace her chamber.

_Anakin, please... _she pleaded silently.

x x x x

Luke had surrendered to the Imperial forces to get closer to his father.

The Stormtrooper was dismissed as soon as he has brought the Rebel to Lord Vader. Vader towered over Luke. He used his impressive height to intimidate, but he sensed no fear in his son. Luke was without fear, and Vader was quite impressed.

"The Emperor has been expecting you."

"I know, Father."

"So, you have accepted the truth?"

"I have accepted that you were once Anakin Skywalker, my father.

Darth Vader turned to him angrily and spat, "That name no longer has any meaning for me!"

Despite the harsh words and the rage the radiated off the Sith Lord, Luke sensed goodness in him, and would do everything in his power to convince his Father to turn from the Dark Side. He would prove Old Ben and Leia wrong, or die trying.

After a few moments of silent deliberation, Vader disarmed him and brought Luke before the Emperor. As he gripped the lightsaber noted proudly that it was closely modeled after his old Jedi weapon.

"His lightsaber," Vader stated, as he handed the weapon to his Master.

The Emperor took the weapon and spoke to Luke in a condescending tone: "Ah, a Jedi's weapon, much like your father's. By now you must know that your father can never be turned from the Dark Side. So will it be with you."

Luke remained silent and looked toward his father.

The despicable voice continued, "I'm looking forward to completing your training. In time you will call _me_ master."

"You're gravely mistaken; you won't convert me as you did my father."

"Oh no, my young Jedi. You will find that it is you who are mistaken…about a great many things."

The Emperor was gloating at this point. He had everything to gloat about; he knew the Rebels were on Endor and the installation of Imperial Stormtroopers guarding the shield generator was ready to massacre the Rebels. They were both outnumbered and outgunned, and thoroughly unaware of the fact.

"Come, boy, see for yourself." An image came up on a huge screen showing where the Rebels were hiding. "From here, you will witness the final destruction of the Alliance and the end of your insignificant rebellion."

Luke's eyes went toward his lightsaber; he could not just sit back and watch Leia his friends die.

Grinning evilly, the Emperor gestured toward Luke's weapon. "You want this, don't you? The hate is swelling in you now. Take your Jedi weapon. Use it. I am unarmed. Strike me down with it. Give in to your anger. With each passing moment you make yourself more my servant."

"No." Luke thought of Yoda's admonitions and knew that he could not give in to his anger. He could only defeat the Dark Side if he let go of his anger.

"It is unavoidable. It is your destiny." The Emperor was taunting him. "You, like your father, are now mine."

The Emperor sneered at him for his weakness for his Father. In anger, Luke compelled his weapon to his right hand and lunged at the Emperor with his lightsaber glowing blue, only to have and Vader step between them and deflect the fatal blow. The Emperor crowed in glee.

Vader now spoke to his son.

"Give yourself to the Dark Side. It is the only way you can save your friends. Yes, your thoughts betray you. Your feelings for them are strong. Especially for...a _sister_."

Vader's paternal feelings rose in him for a brief moment, only to be quashed by his Dark Side rearing up. He felt an emotion akin to glee as he had finally found the way to get to Luke. And perhaps she, too, could be persuaded to join the Dark Side.

"So, you have a twin sister. Your feelings have now betrayed her, too. Obi-Wan was wise to hide her from me. Now his failure is complete. If you will not turn to the Dark Side... then perhaps she will ..."

Luke's saber arm moved in a swift offensive move at his father and he shouted: "Never!"

Luke, infuriated, launched a quick attack parry at Vader, quickly beating the Sith Lord back and cutting off his right hand. What was reveled to Luke made him pause in fear and loathing: not cauterized flesh, but the sizzling circuits of cybernetic limb, like his own right arm. Vader's lightsaber clattered away from them.

_No! I will not be like him!_

The Emperor cackled at Luke's realization that he had more in common with his father than he would like. He encouraged Luke to kill the prone Vader and join him in ruling the Empire.

"Strike him down! Strike down your father and take his place at my side."

"I will never join you."

Luke then let go of his anger and hatred, allowing the light of the Force flow through him. Calm washed over him. He threw down his weapon. "You have failed, your Highness."

Vader stood up, a mute witness to his son's pronouncement.

"I am a Jedi, as was my Father before me." Luke had stated this without pride or vanity. He had truly matured.

"Then, young Skywalker, you will _die_."

Strong bolts of Sith Force lightning shot out from the Emperor's contorted hands and engulfed Luke's body. He fell to the floor in complete agony, crying out to his father, as the Emperor's maniacal laughter sounded in his ears. The Sith lightning was draining his life force and Luke felt that he would surely die.

"Father," he called out to Vader. "Help me- _please_!"


	21. Chapter 21: The Eternal Light, Part II

A/N: Happy New Year! I hope you all had safe & joyous Holidays. Now, on to the show…

**Chapter 21: The Eternal Light, Part II**

"_Father, help me- please!" _Luke moaned in agony.

In her solitary chamber, Padmé gasped as she abruptly felt Anakin's torment.

It was like a fist to the stomach and she could hardly take a breath. Something was terribly wrong. She could actually sense Anakin's feelings, something that had not happened in a long, long while. She then knew that Anakin had to decide something that would change the course of Fate. He was torn. She was buffeted with his anguish. She was terribly anxious; would he make the right choice?

_Anakin, don't do this; Luke is our son!_

She had to find him. And when she found her husband, she would find Luke.

For the first time unescorted, she exited her chamber and used her senses to find Anakin. It was the only thing she could rely on at this point. She knew she could find him as she fled down the corridor and let her feelings guide her path.

Time was running out… for all of them.

x x x x

The glow from the deadly bolts of blue fire reflected off of his dark mask and helmet.

Darth Vader impassively watched the Emperor torture his own son. Luke twisted on the floor in pain as the Sith lightning seemed to make the blood boil inside him. The Emperor's pale face twisted with sick pleasure.

Outwardly, Vader seemed completely immune to Luke's agony. But inside, he was far from serene. His gut twisted and he tasted a metallic bitterness in his mouth. He had bitten down on his own tongue.

_Padmé…I can not let her down again._

He remembered her dark liquid eyes. Those eyes that had only recently looked at him in horror, anger, and pity…the eyes that had also looked at him, so long ago, with passion and love. Luke was a product of that love…their love.

_Luke is my son…our son!_

Vader knew then that could not let their son die. He moved swiftly.

He picked up the Emperor. The lightning moved from Luke and instead engulfed him. Anakin, who could neither produce Sith lightning nor protect himself from it due to having lost both arms, was engulfed in unbearable pain.

**_Anakin! _**

Padmé's voice echoed in her husband's head as he held on to the last threads of consciousness through the searing pain.

x x x x

"NOOOOOOOOO!"

Padmé felt a lightning bolt of agony slice through her and she collapsed face down on the floor of the corridor, struggling to breathe. She forced herself up. She had to continue; Anakin was suffering and she had to find him.

He needed her.

x x x x

Anakin had quickly grasped the Emperor from behind and hoisted the warped creature high above his head. The flashing blue streams now engulfed Anakin's form and shorted out his life support system and broiled the scarred flesh attached to the metal limbs. He used all the strength he had left and threw the Emperor down the bottomless reactor shaft.

Mortally wounded, he collapsed backward as his former Master was incinerated with an intense blast of energy. Anakin's breathing, heard through his voice projector, was now weak and irregular.

Luke, still weakened from the life draining Sith lightning, forced himself to his feet and rushed to his injured father's side. He could not believe what had just happened. He was sure that he was going to die. Now it was over. They could leave this place.

Still conscious, Anakin could hear the Death Star's howling warning claxons and realized that evacuation procedures were now engaged. The Rebel attack on the space station must have been a success. Luke had to find Padmé and escape immediately. Anakin, his voice breathless and weak, tried to speak clearly through his mask.

"My Son, you must leave...there is not much time…"

x x x x

There was panic on the Death Star as all hands rushed to the escape pods. It was utter pandemonium as Padmé made her way against the swarming throng to Anakin.

**_Padmé… _**

Padmé fell to her knees and cried out as intense pain shot through her body. She had heard his wounded voice in her head.

"Anakin," she whispered, when she could get her breath back. She sensed that something was horribly wrong. He was gravely injured. He was in agony.

_Anakin is hurt! He's suffering. _

Her eyes went wide with terror.

_He's dying._

She had to find him. She pushed herself off the floor and onto her feet. She could not fail him!

_**Padmé…** _

Anakin was calling out to her again through the Force. She was frantic to locate him.

There was not much time left.

­x x x x

Vader called out breathlessly to Luke: "Your Mother…_Padmé_…"

Luke now knew the name of the sad, beautiful woman who had saved him on Cloud City…his Mother. Luke crouched beside his Father, distressed and uncertain. He broke out in a cold sweat.

_Where was she?_ _How will I find her_?

He was in a real quandary; if he left now, his Father might die alone. But if he didn't find her-he turned and saw Padmé approaching. Her eyes were grave as if she knew what was soon to happen. Luke was completely puzzled.

_How did she know?_

Anakin, struggling to sit up, held his left hand out to Padmé as she approached. She grasped it tightly and knelt down at his side, wrapping her arms tightly around him and bringing him close to her. She no longer feared that frightening mask. Anakin turned his focus back to his son.

"Luke…let me look at you with my own eyes," Anakin's words were in dispersed with a sickly irregular breathing. Luke turned back to his Father, incredulous.

"But you will die without your mask."

The voice projector's harsh monotone replied: "Nothing can stop that, now..."

Padmé continued to hold Anakin as Luke began to unmask his father.

Luke leaned in close, removed the helmet and placed it at his side.

Padmé held her husband to her as the hiss of the mask's seal opened and revealed Anakin's pale marred visage. The dreadful scars were now visible and the toll that the Dark Side of the Force had taken on Anakin could now be seen. He had aged considerably and his features were twisted with his suffering, but his eyes, at once sad and so full of love, were the bright blue that Padmé remembered so well.

Padmé held Anakin closer, tears streaming down her face.

"My poor Ani…" She pressed her lips to his pale, mottled head and held him in a tight embrace. Anakin's eyes fluttered closed as he savored her touch.

_At last._

He did not want it to end. But it would soon have to.

Anakin opened his eyes and turned his tender gaze to his son. Luke could see his Father trying to smile; he was struggling.

"You must go now…" Gasping, Anakin's face twisted with worry. He knew there was not much time left for them to escape.

"No, Father, I'm not leaving without you. I'm going to save you!"

"You have already have…" Anakin eyelids fluttered; he was fading, but with his last breath, he wanted Luke to know something very important.

"…You were right about me, Luke" he began in a breathless whisper, "…t-tell your sister…tell Leia…you were _right_…"

With that said, Anakin's eyes rolled back into his head, his body went limp, and his spirit joined the Force.


	22. Chapter 22: Farewell

**Chapter 22: Farewell**

Padmé and Luke were both overwhelmed with sorrow.

It had happened so quickly; they could not accept that Anakin Skywalker was dead.

His lips quivering, Luke turned to Padmé and sighed deeply, trying to contain his bottomless sorrow and loss. He was trying not to cry, but losing the battle. He had sensed the goodness in his father. He had been right.

"Father saved my life..."

Tears welled up in Luke's eyes and his jaw trembled. He could not believe that he was gone.

_First Ben, then Master Yoda, and now my Father._

His Father was gone, but thank the Force he still had his Mother.

They were both silent for a moment, each lost in their own bitter grief. Neither of them could believe that Anakin was dead. The sound of the warning claxons penetrated his heartache and his father's warning came back to Luke in a rush. They had to leave the Death Star before it was too late. Time was nearly up for them, too.

"Mother, we have to leave, we don't have much time." Luke was insistent and spoke in a breathless rush.

Padmé shook her head, held Anakin's body close to her and said, "No! I cannot leave him."

_Was she mad? Had she lost her mind? _

Luke peered at her warily, as if she'd grown another head in front of him.

"But Mother," he tried to reason with her. "WE—Leia and I- _need _you!"

With a wistful smile, Padmé shook her head and murmured, "You've both done very well without me…" Then, turning to look at the scarred, empty shell of Anakin Skywalker, she stated, "_He_ needs me more. He always has…"

Luke tried to remain calm and coax his mother away from the body. She was overcome with sorrow, he could understand that, and she would eventually come to her senses. He slowly approached her and knelt down to her level to begin extracting her from his father. He reached a hand out to her. She drew slightly back from him.

"I'm not leaving," she stated evenly.

Like Anakin, Luke's thoughts were easy for her to read on his face. Although he was trying to hide it, he looked at her as if she had completely lost her mind and he was going to do his best to try to make her come to her senses. She stopped him before he even got a word out.

"Luke, I am neither as noble nor as foolish as you think I am," she said calmly looking directly into his eyes, with a slight smile.

Luke's face twisted in confusion. She truly _was_ mad.

Padmé could read that look and felt a bit exasperated. She took a deep breath and blurted out the truth:

"Luke… I'm dying..."

She had to be candid with him. "I will be lucky to last a week."

"What! Why?" Luke's face reflected his dismay. He did not want to believe her. It could not possibly end this way!

"It's too late for me, my son…" Smiling a gentle smile, she spoke as if she were addressing a small, frightened child, which is what Luke resembled at the precise moment.

"Nothing can help me now; it's much too late for a remission of my illness." He looked at her in growing horror. She continued in a soft voice to calm him. Perhaps she really had been too blunt about it.

"Luke, let your feelings guide you. You know that what I am telling you is true."

Striving for calm, Luke briefly closed his eyes and focused his sensitivity on his mother. Her Force signature burned oddly and intensely bright, like a flame does before burning itself out. After a moment, he could sense the brightness dimming. She was right; her life force was leaving her- and quickly.

_She really didn't have a lot of time_, he thought as his heart clenched in his chest.

_No!_

But Luke did not want to believe this. He could not accept this.

_It was unfair_.

Something could be done for her. He knew it.

"Mother, we can get you the best specialists- the best treatments!" His voice was frantic. He couldn't bear another loss.

"Luke, I don't want to live my last days sedated while my body decays around me. I don't want you or Leia to remember me like that. Remember me as I am now, with your Father. I want to die with dignity. Please, that is I all I ask of you."

Luke was truly in despair at this point. Why did these things have to happen to him?

"It is far too late for me, but you and Leia must go on. You need to both rebuild the Republic…_and_ the Jedi Order. Your Father would want you to do that. You must live on after us. You are our legacy. My life is over, but I am content because I know that you and Leia will carry on on after us and continue to do great things."

"You didn't tell him, did you?" Luke looked sadly at his father; she was still holding on to him tightly.

"No… but he knows now…" She gave a slight wry grin.

Luke's eyes stung as he stood up.

He knew then that he would lose her, too. It was the way of life. He had to accept it. She looked up at him with large, liquid eyes.

"I am so proud of you, Luke. Please…_please_ tell Leia I am so proud of you both and I love you both dearly. I am so very sorry to leave you…"

Luke opened his mouth to try to reason with her one last time, but his argument was cut off.

"You must go on. You have to leave before it's too late. Don't make your father's sacrifice be in vain."

He hesitated.

"Please…Do not mourn us, Luke. Instead, rejoice…We are now free."

Luke bowed his head, turned and reluctantly walked a few paces away.

Padmé took a deep breath as the tears rushed to her eyes, "Always remember, Luke….you are a Jedi…"

"…As was my Father, before me…" He felt profoundly humbled at his proclamation. Luke turned back to her and his eyes sparkled brightly.

While still holding on to her husband's body, Padmé reached an arm out one last time to her son. He flew to her side, throwing his arms around her in a tight embrace. She put all the love she felt for him into that last embrace. She held him close to her affectionately, kissed his forehead, and then whispered urgently:

"You must go!"

Luke reluctantly tore himself away. As he retreated a few paces, Padmé called out to him.

"Luke!"

He paused and turned back.

With a slight smile on her face and tears in her eyes, Padmé called out one last benediction:

"May the Force be with you."

He replied with a sad smile. "May the Force be with you, Mother."

With that, Luke made his reluctant escape.

x x x x

Padmé, oblivious to the evacuation around her of hundreds of former Empire officers and Stormtroopers to the emergency pods, cradled Anakin's body to her, finally getting to hold him after all these years.

"I _knew_ there was still good in you, my love! _I knew it!"_ she whispered fiercely, rocking back and forth. Tears now streamed down her face without restraint, but she was truly happy because Anakin was finally free. Her grip on her husband's body was growing weaker as her life force began its departure.

She felt drowsy as she closed her eyes for the final time.

The Death Star exploded in a thermodynamic wave that incinerated the last symbol of the tyrannical Empire. The darkness that shrouded the galaxy was gone. Freedom and justice would reign again.

Nothing was left but a shimmer of falling stars.


	23. Chapter 23: Epilogue: Dawn of a New Day

**Epilogue: The Dawn of a New Day**

The entire Galaxy celebrated the end of the Empire.

It had been roughly twenty standard years since the Darkness had fallen over them.

Luke landed his X-wing fighter in a clearing on the forest moon Endor, not far away from the Ewok encampment. As he climbed down from his ship, he could hear the cheers and echoes of a celebration. Unfortunately, he was in no mood for revelry. He slowly made his way toward the noise. He was dreading seeing Leia.

He had promised to bring back their Mother, but he had failed.

_Will she hate me?_

He hoped Leia would give him a chance to explain. As he came out into the clearing, he saw Leia and Han embracing. Across the distance, she could see Leia's face change from happiness to surprise and then questioning when she saw that Luke was alone. Her liquid eyes, so like their Mother's eyes, pierced him with her confusion.

_Where is Mother?_

Even if Luke had missed the questioning look on Leia's face when he arrived on Endor, he would have known her reaction because he felt it profoundly. Her dark eyes had pricked his soul. He would have to tell Leia what had happened, all of it, but not yet. He was in turmoil over how to tell her. It would not be easy.

Leia needed to know what had happened to their Mother and….their Father. She had had an extremely difficult time accepting that Darth Vader was their Father. But she needed to know the truth, the whole truth, and she knew that her brother would tell her everything. Even things she did not want to know.

He knew it was unfair of him to keep the news of Mother's and fate from her, but Leia had been so horrified to find out Vader was their Father. How much more horrified will she be when she finds out that their Mother is gone. He did not want to dampen her spirits just yet. The Rebel victory complete, Leia had been radiantly happy, a rare occurrence in recent history. But this would get ugly. He hoped it would not drive a wedge through their bond.

She was all he had in this world.

He took out the Japor snippet pendant in his utility belt. Ben Kenobi had given it to him, along with his father's lightsaber back on Tatooine. He ran his thumb over the intricate carvings. Ben told him that his Father had carved it for his mother when his Father was just a child. His Mother had kept it for years until she had met with her "accident".

Ben had never told him what the accident was.

The Jedi Master had taken it upon himself to take both his father's lightsaber and his mother's pendant and give them to the Skywalker children. Now was as good a time as any for Leia to have that pendant. He hoped this small peace offering would help. It was supposed to be good luck; he sure would need it.

Leia and Han were finally reunited. He was sure they would marry. He tried to muster a smile.

_They look so in love, _Luke thought, and bowed his head.

The great darkness had lifted; it was a brand new day for them all. But he still could not catch the jovial mood.

Luke, brooding and pensive, went a little way off from the celebration and sat on a low tree stump. He was trying to let go of his own profound sadness and loss. He wanted to be alone in the darkness. His sense of self-pity rose up.

_It's not fair!_

He had just gained his Father and found his Mother, only to lose them both. He had not even had the chance to get to know them. Guilt rose up in him. Leah had unfortunately met Vader, but had not had the chance to meet their Father, Anakin Skywalker. Or her Mother. Luke calmed himself at the thought. He needed to let go of his self pity.

_Life was not always fair. _

His thoughts shifted to more practical things. He had to think of the future and not wallow in the sorrow of the past. And now there was more work to do with the formation of a new government. That was Leia's forte. She had had much experience as a young senator from Alderaan and was more than able to get things moving. She would be the one to lead them all into a new democracy. A new Republic.

_And work with me on a new Jedi Order_, he thought, with awe. A warmth grew in his chest. Yes, Luke would rebuild the Jedi Order, and bring peace to the New Republic.

Luke was actually looking forward to this new project. He hoped the resurrection of the Jedi Order would keep him busy so that he did not dwell on his grief. He would seek out Force sensitive individuals across the galaxy and train them in the Jedi ways. Perhaps Leia would be the first to be trained. She might balk in the beginning, but he knew she would do it for the Republic. They were family; they would both be great Jedis- like their Father.

Once again, there would be peace keepers and defenders of democracy. At this point, he did not know where to start. It was a bit overwhelming. He hoped Ben would help him. And perhaps Master Yoda. He desperately wished his Father had lived; he would have been invaluable to the cause.

Luke sighed and put his face in his hands.

He knew that he should not mourn them, because they were now free and one with the Force. His Father was now free of the prison of his mask and suit and the prison of his dark deeds. Luke looked up at the dark sky where the Death Star had hung like an evil overseer. Anakin Skywalker had redeemed himself, and by his selfless action, had freed them all.

Something caught his eye in the darkness. He sensed that was not alone; he got up and stood at attention. As Luke focused his gaze, he gave a slight puzzled frown.

It was then that the vision materialized for him.

He saw the glowing Force images of those he had loved briefly and dearly.

There was Yoda, Old Ben, and…his_ Father_, a young Anakin Skywalker- in his Jedi robes! All were gazing at him proudly and smiling with pure, unadulterated joy.

There was a slight shimmer at Anakin's right side and Anakin turned his gaze to look down tenderly as the form of his beloved wife Padmé appeared in the crook of his arm.

Her image grew stronger as she looked up adoringly at her husband, the Jedi. Padmé, dark hair flowing and dressed in dazzling white, laid her head on Anakin's chest as he held her close to him. Anakin turned back to Luke and his smile intensified.

_The circle is now complete._

Leia put her hand on Luke's shoulder to get his attention.

She had sensed other strong presences with Luke and had sought them out. And it was past time for them to talk.

At her touch, Luke smiled.

He felt that things could be much worse for them. Not only did he and Leia have each other, but he had a strong feeling that his parents would always be near them, too. Of course, he would have to work with Leia to hone her hereditary skills.

She, too, would be a powerful Jedi.

Luke knew that, no matter what, he and Leia would never, ever be alone in the universe.

They _would_ have their family together and…he actually felt truly happy for the first time in a very, _very_ long while.

_Fin._

x x x x

A/N: I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I have enjoyed writing it. Thank you all for hanging in there with me until the end.


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